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re: family, death
@Balinares I'm a little stunned, but... we knew for quite a while he was very unwell. We thought he could have as long as another year, but he was definitely in a terminal condition. I'm mostly just angry and looking for gods to kick.
re: family, death
@zx3 It's OK. *hug* He was stage 5 and the odds of him ever enjoying life again were basically nil by the time I last saw him a month ago. I really feel that's a valid time to wrap things up, and I'm glad he doesn't need to suffer through any more chemo or sedentary living--which he was HATING--just to keep our parents' spirits up.
If you really wanna honor his memory though... I still think it was the lawncare job that set him up for this. So if you could shoot a couple (extra) Monsanto execs when the Revolution comes, we'd both be ever so grateful.
family, death
Yeah. My stepbrother Matt died a few hours ago.
Mom said I didn't need to come home, which really surprised me. I guess Matt wanted, quote, "nothing." I asked Mom if she thought he would've minded if I did some observance down here, and she said no, not at all.
So I think sometime this weekend I'm gonna go down to the French Quarter, buy a couple of drinks and a couple of sandwiches, find a nice park and eat my half, and leave the other half for the damn raccoons--which, for all I know, he could be one of now.
Goodbye and good luck, Matt. You were turning out to be such a good guy. But I know you were tired of fighting, and I'm glad you got to go out on something resembling your own terms. I love you, little brother.
cafe, music, mood
OK, this came up on the cafe speakers and now I KNOW some god and/or employee is conspiring against me. >_<
@LeDiva I hope it's good tired, but I mean... it's 2019. *HUGS*
mh (++?)
Been mooning about today, about the past and the state of the world and my lack of a social life down here and whatnot.
And then it dawned on me: every single solitary time in my life that I've felt like I was totally screwed, there was a solution waiting for me that I just didn't notice.
When I first started college, I was so lonely I was actively suicidal for a month. My mom made me promise I'd start going out and doing things... and I met my eventual fraternity brothers and my eventual first girlfriend at the very first gaming night I attended.
When I had washed out of my job in Seattle, was dealing with the worst of my chronic fatigue, and was being kicked out by a borderline psychologically abusive roommate, I felt like it was the end and had set 1/1/2000 as my suicide date. And then, while I was in Ohio trying to recuperate over an extra-long Christmas vacation, I met Rik.
When I got kicked out of Transliminal because my patience with Kristy had finally run out, it never even *dawned* on me that Peg would be willing to take me in, because we'd decided years before not to pursue living together. And I was terrified that moving in would be the end of us. But it was one of the highlights of my adult life.
So... what the hell makes self-pitying little me think this is gonna be any different?
Oh, right, Internet, country, postfurry (or at least my relationship with it?), libido, and self-esteem are all a total burnout shitshow. :) But still. All I gotta do is actually go out there and make a few Charisma rolls. Probably with a cute dragon lady leaning on my shoulder. Piece of cake, right?
@001zlnv Huh! I knew about 50% of that—"Mexican-style" hominy is one of my staple foods 'cause posole is one of the only things I know how to cook without looking at a recipe. :) But I did NOT know about the masa/cornmeal into dough difference! I should get a big ol' bag of Maseca and play around with it again, maybe try some pupusas...
re: uspol re: "bootstraps"
@LexYeen@snouts.online Yup. Same basic logic behind "giving 110%" somehow becoming an expected standard, and "life ain't fair" becoming a justification for making it more unfair.
Took me the better part of 30 years to fight off the gaslighting of that whole Norman Vincent Peele cult. Even my dear kind liberal mom used to insist "you can achieve anything you put your mind to"--without a single thought spares to how DEPRESSING that would be to an imaginative kid, since it obviously implied, QED, all the beautiful things that nobody had apparently put their mind to, then. ("Okay, Mom, fine. Then I wanna be a unicorn." "Then you better put your mind to it, smartass " OK, maybe she wasn't ALL wrong. *neigh*)
re: cafe, music, minor venty sui
(Next up: Led Zep, then Jimi. Yes, café, I accept your apology.)
re: cw: canids
@Leucrotta i dunno lets see the chart again
cafe, music, minor venty sui
OK, Jim Croce's "Operator" followed immediately by Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide." They clearly want me to move on to another establishment—either that, or the playlist gods have decided it's time to torment me over The Thing again.
I'm gonna wait for one more song. If it's Joanna Newsom's "Peach Plum Pear," how about a nice leap into traffic instead?
I wouldn't. I got comics to write and dragons to pet, of course. But those three songs fucking break me, and the last two are explicitly due to lingering damage from The Housemate Thing. I think it's healing, but man, pressing on that scar still hurts like a motherfucker.
@Aradia If for some reason they don't come back, you know what we have to do... ROAD TRIP TO MEXICO, DUMP IT IN THE GULF, AND TAKE A GREYHOUND HOME!!!!!
*cough* Sorry. I've been feeling a bit restless lately. n.n;
cw: infuriating pun
@hummingrain I'm delighted you're finally getting to take some herpetology courses! I never even knew they measured pythons in units! *ducks*
Tonight on "Um, Weren't We Supposed To Eat That Guy?!"
re: fashion? inflatables, very bondagy link
@001zlnv Oh gosh, you're right, that's uncannily similar. Wouldn't be the first time the fashion industry's cribbed from the kink world without giving credit, either...
re: fashion? inflatables
@001zlnv Got a link? It's, um, for a friend. O:)
🔥💫🐯(火星虎)
ɪɴᴄᴇɴᴅɪᴀʀʏ ᴘʟᴀɴᴇᴛ ᴄᴀᴛʙᴇᴀsᴛ ʀᴇᴢᴇʏᴀ
read this, pitiful humans:
http://egypt.urnash.com/parallax/