Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

Heh. I looked at my to-do list. It would be empty... if not for the cats. With the cats, it's got like ten things on it.

Kinda broke down today. Shemp's eye was the last straw for my brain, I think. It's not actually that scary and I know that rationally. I think we still have like $400 left in donation money, and... I mean, it's probably just Kitty Pinkeye. We have a day of hassle, get him some drops, and he'll be fine.

But still. All I've been able to do is sleep. There's a pit at the bottom of my stomach and the unfocused anxiety is awful -- even though mama and the kittens are GREAT and I really think Shemp will be OK.

We even got the kittenproofing for the doors today, so wrangling them will be much easier. And I wrote up a note for the local Reddit asking if anyone can take Peebles and Artie, which will dramatically reduce our expenses -- and our worries that they'll strike out on their own one night.

This has just been rough. I suspect all this time playing Aunt Tiger is making me stronger and better able to deal with crisis, but...

There was enough to worry about already. Maybe THAT'S the blessing, though? No matter what goes down tomorrow, I gotta keep my shit together for the kids.

@mawr Honestly? No, but I'd been bracing myself for these days for a long time. Between dating an extreme political cynic for 15 years and... well, just having been a history major... I always kinda suspected we were living in an anomaly and Big History was gonna get us sooner or later.

It still blows. -__-

i think i've earned the right after all that stress to channel my inner Linda Belcher

alright! mommy's gonna day drink, who's with me?

also sugarfoot got out today, which actually ended up going relatively well -- she darted back so fast when i shook the treat bag, i accidentally closed the door on her because i hadn't even noticed her

maybe i've been overprotective and i can finally let the poor gal outside for brief periods between nursings...

@KinkyTurtle Huh, I never knew about that and the whole Hemingway connection!

aaaand shemp's got an eye infection *sigh*

there might be another call for donations soon

yeah, louise is gonna end up one of us...

(it's a "dragon with a girl tattoo" costume)

i love that she's still wearing her bunny ears underneath

dealer got in touch, got slammed by work, coming tomorrow

finally got some food together: made my signature kale and gnocchi with obscene amounts of olive oil, red chili, garlic, anchovies, and good-quality parmesan.

i would give you the recipe but... that's the recipe. just be generous with everything but the anchovies. so good. feeling so much better now.

also... when we're on the topic of tiny misfortunes... that moment when you have to nuke your FurAffinity submissions IMMEDIATELY because you forgot to unfollow someone you miss terribly but who hates your guts, and the reminder of their existence is agonizing

dealer stiffed us, two hours late now, knowing him he's probably still asleep :p

cleaned up the front room and did the dishes while peg went out on a bike ride

our net service is absolutely crawling tonight and i can't finish last night's snl

and i can't really make dinner until i get the fridge cleaned (MAJOR cleaning -- we lost everything inside after Zeta) which i can't really do until peg's home to help take the trash out

just all around very grumpy tiger right now. none of it's peg's or anyone else's fault but fuck would i rather be fed and stoned and done with the evening right now.

@anthracite it's more getting it out of the toilet where you have issues my dear

#foxproblems

<3

Let me offer a metaphor, though. Germs can cause immense harm. Sanitation was one of the greatest achievements in human technology and improved lives measurably.

But the other side of the coin? You eliminate ALL challenges to your immune system and all you get for your trouble is allergies and asthma. Live in a perfectly sterile environment and you will suffer for it in the long run if that bubble is every burst.

I feel that "problematic" language is much the same. You wallow in it and never ponder the harm it *can* cause, people suffer. You try to eliminate everything that's even got a trace of an etymological relation to an injustice... people suffer.

People need outlets. People need gradual change or they backlash. Language benefits from paradox. Art benefits from being able to explore things that are painful and awkward. And it's virtually impossible to have a language that is based on both history *and* perfect social justice.

I am not trying to subtweet anyone here. There is a parallel conversation taking place on this topic, I have the greatest respect for the participants, and I don't reply directly simply because I don't actually *want* to challenge what they're doing. I trust people to find their own way, and my contrarian feelings about the subject really belong on my stalkjng ground, not theirs.

It's just a factor of progressive culture that's been bothering me for years and the words were actually coming today, so I decided to write them down. Thank you for listening.

I think trying to achieve purity of inner thought on any ethical subject is an inherently dangerous prospect. I was caught up in when I was a Christian and all it did was serve up a lot of distractions that had more to do with my own sense of self than the commission of any meaningful external justice. It makes me nervous to see other people going down the same route but it's not my place to tell them not to, since I can never be sure how much was really the inherent danger of chasing purism and how much was my own dangerously compulsive nature. *shrug* I dunno. Just something I felt like I had to get off my chest. At this point I don't try to lead people off the path they're on, because I really can no longer claim to know where the fuck any of us are going.

bwok bwok bkuk

this is a weird fucking city

Our dealer is due around 4 or 5, we have three nip bottles of gin/rum/vodka, and I think my plan for tonight is to get intoxicated until my ego is a little wibbly and let Brill clean the kittenarium for me.

Or shit, if this week's batch is good enough, maybe as Hladolet. She'd barely even notice she's doing it except perhaps as a very long string of octal in her records file.

RIP Charlie 😿​

http://www.dailycoyote.net/

I had been braced for this news for years. He was the goodest of wildbois.

e.g. i just found myself filking the "nutty gritty" song from those old ABC "Time For Timer" educational ads with the lyrics "Pooty kitty, pooty kitty/You're a cat that can poot/Pooty kitty, pooty kitty/You're just lucky you're cute!"

Meanwhile in the back of my head I am still trying to use all the postfurry toolset to deal with ALL THIS KITTY PARENTING STRESS

So... Peg and I were on a craft beer run last week and ran into the prettiest red merle Australian Shepherd mix, "Oyster." She flomp even better than Shemp and was extremely friendly, outgoing, and calm. I... I think I developed a mild Platonic crush on Oyster.

And I need an inner mama, someone a little more capable of quiet patience than Aunt Tigress. "I shall slay all who oppose you, tiny cousins" is a good attitude for some situations, but... doesn't really help when they miss the litterbox, yanno?

So here's Brill. She's still in her formative stages, but she's another merle Aussie Shepherd gal. I modeled her personality a little bit after Shreve from Daily Coyote. She's kind of a cross between Buffy and Applejack, a rural but modern Colorado lady who's also a bit softpunk.

She's from a light comedy-horror world, where the Horrible Supernatural Event has already more or less been dealt with, monsters are a manageable (and hotly political) public issue, and not everything spooky is evil or unrelenting.

Brill has dead friends she speaks to on a regular basis. She is a former Final Girl and does charity fundraisers online for other survivors. She is totally unflappable, unswerving in her compassion, but utterly ruthless when she's got an axe in her paws.

Helping raise two little displacer beasts will be NOTHING to Brill. (In fact, I think that's canon now. She breeds pet displacers.)

So yeah. I think another little part of me has gone canid. Laika is thrilled she has someone else around here worth sniffing instead of all these goddamn cats.

gosh my songs about sugarfoot sure seem to involve the words "butt" and "fart" a lot

which is totally unfair of me since even if you take body weight into account peggy farts FAR more than sugarfoot :p

david cronenberg had a more positive effect on furry fandom than i did.

that is not selfdeprecation nor trolling for praise but a sincere appreciation of how well furries do not just body horror but its philosophical implications for identity and sapience