Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

OK, yeah. It stared me right in the face and bared its grossdorable orange buck teeth at me.

My oldjerksona has gotta be a nutria. Just imagine this grumpy little shit (Fig. 1) as an anthro with grey hair, granny glasses, and a highly musty brown leather jacket (Fig. 2).

And then GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY, KID, I'M IN LINE HERE.

You know what I really want?

An amusement park where I can play at being a slasher-film villain for a day. All props and actors, wiffle chainsaws, nobody really gets hurt, but there's a lot of satisfying screaming and insincere deathbed penitence that I can cackle and ignore.

Maybe I just need to reinstall Hotline Miami or something and take my wrath out on some pixels.

Every single incident like this-- every bad encounter with another member of the general public, every event that leaves me genuinely unsure who's the asshole-- pushes me that little bit closer to becoming an "Oh Hello!" fan insertion, i.e. a depraved and cheerful old bastard who gives not the faintest fuck.

(Example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfdMsxSjY3o)

I wonder if there's any way to turn my hair grey faster. I wonder if there's any alternative to just giving in and becoming an asshole without regret. I wonder if I have the energy to hold out any longer. It'd be a lot more fun than torturing myself like this every time I try to stand up for myself.

I was either Karened at the local cafe this morning, or committed a huge inexcusable faux pas by not covering my mouth, one time, while coughing at a perfectly innocent woman from six feet away. We had a big ugly conflict with everybody staring and then I stormed off home.

She definitely shot first but I was not entirely in the right; I can see why an uncaught cough could make someone real upset these days. I'm pretty sure I would have apologized had she not chosen "maximum snide" as her opening gambit.

I am currently drowning my frustration and self-loathing in the most sarcastic and misanthropic stand-up comedy I can find, reassuring myself that I'm not the only crusty old pariah jerkass out there.

Bless your cynical besotted heart, Dylan Moran.

@Aradia Remember, I was in a FRATERNITY. :O

@Aradia I could tell you some stories... c_c;;

@Aradia Oh I MUST know. :D

There are some people on Masto whose cw could say "Rainbows, Cake, and Fluffy Bunnies" and you still just know it's gonna be about grey skies and doom somehow.

@zx3

@LexYeen The right wing *is* starting to sound like Charlie after a little too much (or too little) glue... Maybe they need to up their cat food dosage.

@Phorm I've still got the synth buzz from this stuck in here. Eighth consecutive day. I'm gonna ask if it'd considering paying rent. D:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zo7ONZlN5Zg

@monsterblue I remember Tomes and Talismans, too! :D

@001zlnv The 6th one gets me like fifty bucks so... I mean... as these things go...

But yeah, it doesn't hold a candle to the vacation on Saturn I'm about to take. ^______^

Work is functionally done for the week. My intentions for the weekend, in no particular order:

1) Get extremely stoned and drunk.
2) Listen to bleepy repetitive music.
3) Forsake Terran cultural identity.
4) Perv on Anthracite.
5) Pet some very high quality cats.
6) File Louisiana state taxes. (sigh)

@Soreth I mean, something just feels DRASTICALLY Terry Nation about the sets and costuming and video quality, doesn't it, not to mention the fact this actress does not have one of the Three Hollywood-Approved Feminine Phenotypes.

@Soreth If this were QI you'd get the siren for the obvious answer, but that doesn't mean it's not a good answer...

Who is this woman?

Both right and wrong answers will be accepted, but I'll be REALLY impressed by a right one.

@zx3 I tried so fucking hard, robot friend. Probably gonna try again at least once. *hug and a weak smile, but a smile nonetheless*

@duske Is this close enough?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTa2vXL7FI8

@anthracite that's kinda hot, does jeanine know about this dalliance