Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

we're dropping parallax completely to work on our NEW killer pitch:

"Tony Catblest, Attorney At Law."

He's a perfectly normal, serious professional in a perfectly normal, serious legal drama.

Except an ancient family "blessing" means that he is followed by 2d6 cats at all times.

This turns out to be completely covered and protected under the ADA. So he and his coworkers have pretty much gotten used to, say, having to slide important documents out from under snoozy floofers, and the judges all have special padded gavels so they don't wake anybody up.

Attorney Catblest wins 99% of jury trials. For some mysterious reason.

@Leucrotta that's probably the right answer :D

@Leucrotta now draw a portrait of mao, tape them to the dirty bastard's eyes, and mail it to the nearest PRC consulate >__<

i am proud of this and i mean every word >_____<

this will suffice until we have bullets and a clear aim

[ T H I S I S W H A T L I N D A B E L C H E R A C T U A L L Y B E L I E V E S ]

raccoon feels

@hystericempress Also a related search just now brought up this, which I just find so quaint and charming. Calvin was SO EXCITED over a Hayes modem.

@hystericempress I am not ashamed to say I spent at least 30 minutes yesterday plugging "buffet" into Google Maps and pouring over the results with the intensity of Rommel moving plastic figurines across a map of Angola.

@001zlnv good

if you're queer and don't still see yourself at least partially as an outlaw you are of no value to the movement whatsoever

@hystericempress oh wow you ARE strong :D <3

ill K @ may 88888 👬​

if anybody invents some fake hidden meaning for this totally innocent random string of characters i will be outraged because you clearly just don't understand the context

@hystericempress Dose 1 or 2?

I think "I bear you no ill will but I can no longer guarantee your safe passage through my lands" is the best kissoff I will ever deliver to a former friend. One that dates all the way back to the last time I was interested in socializing with "reasonable" Republicans.

old teletext is basically the closest i get to woo

if there were a formal body of magickal practice associated with it i'd probably become some kind of ceefax witch

three of my personal hauntological classics:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF8vLUEp29E

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NF6Qa84mno

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nxuOvjNERE

@Phorm *does a little jig!*

@001zlnv i thought a major goal of small insects was to stay OUT of aardvarks

can't trust what you see in the papers i guess

I've always wanted to write 1408 fanfic in which someone comes in with some nice fresh wallpaper, a little fruity incense, some pillow mints. You know. Things hotel rooms like. Just to show it they want to be friends.

"Five. This is five. Please. Stay a little longer. Please."

@Phorm I feel like I of all people *should* not have totally forgotten who specifically that is, and I definitely know I should be delighted that I have.