Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

I just remembered that I was Colin Robinson long before there was a Colin Robinson.

OK, story time. I'll try to keep it brief[1].

I had a friend on Tapestries named White-Delirium. She had a reputation as a troublemaker. She was a white mink girl in a bloody black rubber butchers apron. She was like Harley Quinn written by David Lynch. I adored her. I was also a good friend of her player in real life. They were practically my little sib.

Well, she developed a social circle/VR polycule around herself and everybody wanted a [color+psychological affliction/adolescent emotion] mink. Red Vengeance and Blue Malice or whatever the fuck, IK don't remember the actual names.

And they not only kinda missed a lot of what made WD charming, they actually had DRAMA over who got to be a mink and who didn't.

Well, I knew I had implicit permission to fuck around with White's character. She had even asked me to help destroy the minks once.

So.

Beige-Tedium.

I didn't call him that at the time, but in retrospect I set out to create the greatest energy vampire that TapestriesMUCK had ever seen, as a blatant satire of the other minks.

He would just go into the kinkiest rooms on Tapestries and read the newspaper and drink coffee, in lavish multi-paragraph poses. If someone tried to have a conversation with him, he'd ramble at them about bus trips and bowling techniques and modal jazz until asked in any way to stop.

I would only do this in a dead-quiet room and would politely defer to real conversation or RP... unless the political content or people involved annoyed me. I never said I was a saint. n.n

And I had the time of my fucking life. People were actually really fun and supportive about it, and I went out of my way to give hints that this was a big goof and everybody was invited to play along.

And those fucking baby minks WELCOMED Beige as their uncle. They LOVED him, those little bastards. They were all so ready for the furry RP Shaggs[2]. The plan totally backfired.

[1] oops
[2] http://www.warr.org/odds.html#POTW

There is no greater mood booster than having a cat that's been AWOL for a week suddenly show up her old grumpy self. Sugarfoot finally revealed herself to Peg this morning after a long walkabout.

Peg tried to give her a scritch and welcome her home. She hissed and air-swatted at her. That's our girl. *sigh* <3

(She did mewl at me and deign to accept a scritch when I left for the cafe.)

@JulieSqveakaroo Love the bubble-braid!

noelle is having a rough morning

i better get her some coffee

Huh. Well, you're in an energetic mood today, Dawn. What's with all the fireballs?

Guess it's time to get up off my ass and try to find something useful to do

@LexYeen horsebikes are kind of a kink-adjacent mood right here

@anthracite

CAPTIONED FOR THE HOT SAUCERMAN IMPAIRED:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1qdnOMLWS8

@Phorm (Intriguingly, Sweet Cuppin Cakes is NOT immune to Westphall-like effects. However, it's already taking place inside of a jar of ranch dressing in Senor Cardgage's fridge and thus can not enter The Snowglobe.)

@Phorm That is a good point. It's not so much that the HRverse never crosses over with anything else, though, but that it never turns malignant and will never trap them inside that snowglobe. But now that you mention it, I wonder if the awesome burnination power of Mighty Trogdor might not also be a factor...

Or could it be? Could this all be the gift of the S Is For Sucks Dragon? What a twist ending!

Headcanon: Homestar Runner's world is almost completely[1] immune to the Tommy Westphall Virus[2].

The exact source of this protective effect is unknown, but is suspected to be a combination of factors including: (a) high continuity (b) low canon consistency (c) well-mediated contact with our reality via the Lappy et al (d) a 30-year waiting period for most "RL" media references (e) some unknown property of Strong Sad's "Blue Ones"[3] and (f) Garbledina[4].

[1] Free Country did test positive during a routine TWV exam[5] in 2003, but did not develop any symptoms except for Shark-Tooth Bubs.

[2] named for Tommy Westphall, a disabled child from a TV series that turned out to be taking place entirely as his dying dream; the "virus" brings every other fictional universe his show crosses over with into the same collapsing reality bubble -- yes, our reality is theoretically inside of it!

[3] if you don't know, you probably shouldn't ask 😱​

[4] GRAW MAD! GRAAAAW MAD! DARRRRRRRRGH!

[5] Also headcanon: these TWV examinations are administered free of charge as a charitable service by Mr. Peabody. Yes, that Mr. Peabody-- or at least, one of his 12 regenerations![6]

[6] You do NOT want to fuck with the War Peabody. (Whispered rumor has it that the one on television was the War Peabody.)

@Phorm Thought so. Was tempted to @ you. <3

@001zlnv I mean, Rezy and Valis are both From Space. They can get up on any given morning, log into an app (open source, of course-- we killed all the VC fuckers centuries ago), and put their stripes wherever they damn well please.

Well, those are some style goals right there.

https://imgur.com/gallery/twCRAWx#kWPA6Wk

And just as I'm thinking of reviving Kincaid the lavavixen...

@xinjinmeng Who's your favorite in the "achieve sapience and take over for the goddamn idiot humans" derby? ​​​​🦑​🐐​🐘​🐀​

@balinares They don't pull those out for any ordinary mortal, just for someone extraordinary like a dragon, or an exceptionally nice person (or both). <3

today's reading from the gospel according to st. hobbes

Fuck it, i'm granting Matt Berry and all his characters full Martian citizenship. i can't think of a single one that wouldn't fit right in with the Imperial* court.🐯​

OK, well, except for the one from the IT Crowd. He is barred. And Matt from Snuff Box. But his Uncle Charles is straight in. And Dr. Lucien Sanchez. And the Butt Witch.

Huh. Uncle Charles from Snuff Box would make an AMAZING Martian Tiger. I should get to work on that.

@xinjinmeng (And yes, but WHAT OF THE MYANMAR AFFAIR?!?!)

@xinjinmeng Fantastico!

@zx3 <3 <3 <3