Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

"We have invented something far beyond the comprehension of your puny Earth minds: behold the MFA thesis novel!"

My thanks to all of you who helped resolve my MST3K crisis last night. :)

I had a big old impassioned speech planned regarding an ideological matter, and I was just about ready to start banging it out, and then I realized I just don't have any more fight left in me.

So I'll just slink back up the mountain and sulk and overeat. But honestly? It's fine. One of two things will happen: there'll be a younger, fiercer, better version of me to fill in the gap, or the world will end specifically because I fucked off and went back to shitposting about 90s comedies. I suspect it'll be the first one.

I really am okay. Frankly? I'm *braced* for the future. I'm downright stoic. I just feel so fucking old.

All right.

This has been bothering me for like 30 years.

So, at about 24 minutes into Master Ninja II, during the first host segment... what the poopie is Crow saying after "like it was written in blood?!?!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SZrvOCYXP8&t=1442s

Every time I've seen it referenced online, they wrote "The van dies!" but that makes absolutely no sense to me--even though that's exactly what I hear, too.

But lately I've been starting to wonder: could it be "the Van-DAL!" Like, that would be perfectly cromulent, since it's an actual pun on "vandal." And I mean, the phonology isn't perfect, but early MST3K left in a lot of flubbed lines. So it definitely seems possible that Trace was just having an off day and didn't quite pronounce it right.

Help. This threatens to become my own personal That's Where I'm A Viking.🙀

Heh. Yeah. This is basically the depersonalization/derealization anthem.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtaLKvini4k

Be warned that the above opportunity is only a dream job if, like me, there is SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU and your idea of a good time was already spending 6-8 hours a day on Wikipedia. :D

It's a tough job. We have a 40+ page set of guidelines just for the BASIC tasks, and lots of people wash out on the training process. It is SUPER nitpicky work with a lot of ambiguity. It requires constant lateral thinking and a thick skin for (polite and fair, especially on MY watch) criticism.

But if the Full Data Nitpicking Lifestyle still sounds appealing to you, even knowing this job has broken lesser people -- but obsessive freaks like me at least love/hate it -- let's get you in touch with my boss.

HEY. YOU.

You there with the more-than-passing familiarity with Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Korean, or Arabic!

You want a job in the fast-paced world of making sure innocent people don't drive off a cliff? You wanna work at home, for a very queer-friendly liberal European company with flex hours and good benefits?

Are you an irksome pedant whose friends REALLY wish you would apply your gift for spotting fine logical and factual distinctions to something OTHER than their favorite TV shows?

Can you locate more than 20 or 30 different countries on a map without even breaking a sweat? Or did you at least play a lot of Risk as a kid and have a faint idea where stuff is?

Better yet, do you have a "useless" liberal arts degree that you'd like to turn into a reason for your jerkass engineer friends to be ENVIOUS of you for once? 😼

Let me know. My employers are hiring for our Asian language teams.

Not back exactly, but I am poking my head out from under the Imperial Martian Couch and sniffing around for treats. I could be lured. 😽

I'm not well or great, exactly, but I'm fine. Cats are currently safe, Peg is under the weather but fine, and I look poised for the best financial position I've ever been in, if I can just keep the world at bay for a few months.

Miss y'all. Just haven't felt like I've had much to share. Might put more random nonsense here, if only to spare poor Anthracite 😺​

if i can see just ONE all-protogen dance troupe perform this at a furry con before i die, every other insult i have suffered at the hands of Terra shall be forgiven 😺

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD4DAa62maI

Welp, I got a tip that Louisiana is well on the way to passing its own bathroom bill.

We're not too concerned yet. Even if this one manages to pass the inevitable court challenges, as I put it to my friend who warned me, New Orleans is basically Capetown during apartheid, or Casablanca during Vichy France. The typical citizen would pay not to have to give the faintest fuck about who's trans. Support will be negligible; resistance will be considerable.

Everybody here ALREADY hates Baton Rouge meddling with our lives, and the folks on Reddit are already murmuring "can has tax strike nao?" New Orleans frequently beats SEATTLE in LGBT support rankings, ffs. Hell, a good chunk of our economy comes from Hollywood, so we LITERALLY CAN NOT AFFORD to scare LGBT people away from here.

For as long as the French Quarter continues to have a good 3-4 LGBT flags *per block*, I think we're good and safe no matter what that fake-ass god-bothering Christofascist Jeff Landry thinks.

Molon LGBTabe, motherfucker.

🖕​🐯​🖕​

I'm just back for a moment, to tell you about the greatest song ever recorded. 🐯

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7BA6ioUqhk

"the 'just trolling' <-> orwellian duckspeak spectrum"

@stablehorde_generator@sigmoid.social

draw for me: the concept of "dignity" as a simple felt-tipped marker drawing

😇

Huh. That's new.