Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

Peggy and I have the best fights. She had flipped all the reversible sequins on her pillow to spell out an unkind but amusing message at my expense, and it escalated until I found myself getting pummeled about the head and face by Hellboy. XD

Yup, definitely coming down with something. Peg knocked hers out in 2-3 days, so I'm not too worried.

What's the exact opposite of sehnsucht? Where instead of the longing for something otherworldly and beautiful becoming overwhelming, you just wake up one morning to find out the appropriate sensory organ for such things has just crusted right over? And some part of you wheezes, aches, and gets dizzy when you try to use it.

I think my third eye has come down with conjunctivitis, and none of the meta-optometrists are taking new patients. They say never to scratch at it, but...

When I finally achieve my life's goal and am appointed Universal Arbiter of Geography, having an autoscrolling website for your restaurant will be punishable by summary execution. I shouldn't have to feel like I'm playing a fucking action RPG just to read your contact info.

Looking at you here, https://www.phoshizzle.club

That faintly sodden whacking sound you hear is that of an outsourced employee losing his livelihood. They died as so many before them: mistaking an occasionally fairly hardcore research job for a data entry position.

I always feel pretty awful when I have to do this. But I'm not going to pretend grading a terrible rater's work isn't a hell of a lot easier than grading a good one, and I'm not gonna pretend that's not a relief after last week.

Gloomy, depressed, self-hatey, and misanthropic today, but it's nothing that an It's Always Sunny binge won't numb.

I'm smart enough to know there's no sense in indulging this kind of depression, just gotta push through. As a depression connoisseur, this one is not without its acrid, bitter charms.

I miss a lot of people and things today. I still don't have any good answers for how to reconnect with any of them. I'm not asking any of you for answers and I hope that's been clear.

#moodsnapshot

(actually, i'm feeling a lot better, just have a lot of steam to blow off from this week 😙 )

#moodsnapshot https://awoo.space/media/mn5M4EQfmOJ2MhOsFdQ

I'll let them monkeys loose, I swear.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfv6u4An8hU&feature=youtu.be&t=11s

#moodsnapshot

OH MY GOD I AM DONE WITH THE WORKWEEK THAT WOULD NOT DIE

Took a real nasty mood spill towards the end there. Peg and I were absorbing each other's stress like crazy and started manifesting our Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolfsonas at each other. At least twice, I had to just sit and stare until my brain unlocked.

Much, much better now. Her mood's improved and we're back to our usual snarky banter. Now I'm gonna do AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE all weekend and love it.

Have fun out there, darlings.

This has just been a really exhausting week. Work is draining me really fast right now, since I have actual deadlines for once. I also seem to have pulled a classic move and just used my great quarterly review as an excuse to put more pressure on myself. Social obligations are piling up and turning stressful again, Peg and I have both been tense and snippy at each other all day, I'm already tired of dealing with random damaged people on the Ave every day...

I need some time off.

I think I'm gonna be taking this weekend off from socializing. I've been Mood 5, Brain 1 all week, and work has been giving me horrible writer's block all week. I need a few days to unclog my brain, catch up on exercise, play video games, mewl plaintively at Peggy---do anything at all except squint at street maps and come up with new ways to say "this is not how you do this" politely. :|

I can't believe A Bit of Fry and Laurie got away with saying "felching" on the air in 1990. (S2E1, 04:16) I wonder if the censors had just never heard it before...

"Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself."

--Philip Larkin, This Be The Verse

(I'm actually having a pretty decent morning. I just ran across that quote while looking up Bojack interviews and had to give it a nod.)

Oh, and binged The Tick with the ex-housemates. And got fed some of Buni's distressingly good caramel pull-apart bread. So, not a COMPLETELY lonely weekend. ^___^

Really want to sit down with someone for a long talk about which parts of The Tick worked for me. I'd recommend it, it was a lot of fun, I'd like a second season.. but is it just me, or was it just really *tropey* in places, especially with Protective Family Hijinx & the Hero's Call shit?

Also had a great, lonely weekend while Peg was at con and [TMI] when she got back. XD Accomplished very little except for getting stoned and playing Darkest Dungeon, but man, that was some fulfilling slacking.

Decided to just bail on work when she got home Monday, and... um... yeah, I won't be bitching about not getting any of my kinks pandered to for a while. Let's just say it was all very... jingly.

Today's ok, back to work deadlines, no motivation.

Besides that trivial health scare, I'm doing pretty great, honestly.

Feeling a lot better about the old household and finally digesting some of the guilt and frustration.

Finally read through my full work review and it's almost flawless. What really blows my mind is I got told my time metrics looked great-- I seriously expected a royal pranging for all the time I just... sit and stare.

What finally snapped me out of it was googling for the phrase "twice the risk of early death" and making a few comparisons.

Eventually I got to the point of "ok, well then, between the depression, the ADD, the sitting, the fried potatoes, the belly fat, taking prilosec, and having had a dad who died of a heart attack, I guess I just have 128x the risk of a normal person and it's a miracle I'm even walking." Yes, I know it doesn't work that way. XD

I fucking hate science "journalism." I just got the almighty shit triggered out of my phobia of having a heart attack because of that fucking study about the effects of sitting for long periods.

Had to spend a half-hour, one I should have spent working (or exercising!?) talking myself out of the idea that I was going to keel over instantly from 40 years of sitting.

I realize this is not rational, that's kinda the point. :)