Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

#moodsnapshot: simply horrid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zcVnNwAHys

(I'm sorry, does "trouble" need to be under a CW? 🙄 )

Submitted without comment because I'd just get myself in trouble.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1997/09/a-civic-duty-to-annoy/376949/

argh

(if it's any consolation, if I'm a little self-destructive at this point it's not like "pondering tall buildings," it's more like "don't really give a fuck about my sodium intake anymore" and I don't expect it to get any worse than that -- i am as bored with the notion of death as i am with the notion of life :p )

more #moodsnapshot

that bit about "coming to a mysterious close"

how in the fuck can any single elemnent of my life possibly be sustainable for very long

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3GOVzy6Tzs

I think this article has been weighing heavily on me, too. Be warned, MAJOR content advisory. It's about dealing with severe mental health issues in one's family, and it hits hard. I've especially been looking at the author's "suicide by installments" suspicions about his father and wondering if that doesn't describe my own late father... and me. This does feel like a good year to close the book & pack it in, but god, death's so much WORK. >_<

https://folks.pillpack.com/my-father-the-werewolf/

I just wish I knew what the fuck to do for anyone. Maybe I've just taken too much SAN damage this year to be of any value to anyone and need another couple months in the hermitage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEUuYJBU0tA #moodsnapshot

I seem to be having a severe metaphysical allergy to something on social media today. There is absolutely no way to approach the exact subject tactfully and I don't really endorse my reaction-- I can't see any place in the process where anyone's done wrong-- so I'm not going to go into detail. Something is just putting my ennui generators into overdrive today. I got a huge head start on work this weekend, and I think today I'm gonna cash it all in and do nothing at all.

I love being right on the Internet, but not at the cost of people's livelihoods. I'm not sure I like being pseudo-management. :(

*glumly dons black vestments and executioner's hood, wearily climbs the graveyard tower, and tends to a crack in the funerary bell, which will surely be rung today*

Ask not for whom the pile of erroneous task ratings toll, my ill-starred outsourced congregant. They toll for thee, and I can offer no sanctuary.

Stuck in that ever-fascinating space where I can't tell if I'm getting over a really weak cold, or coming down with a really clever flu. -_-

Leaning towards the first one. Pretty sure this is what Peg had, and she beat it in a couple days. I don't expect any changes to my social schedule.

Peggy and I have the best fights. She had flipped all the reversible sequins on her pillow to spell out an unkind but amusing message at my expense, and it escalated until I found myself getting pummeled about the head and face by Hellboy. XD

Yup, definitely coming down with something. Peg knocked hers out in 2-3 days, so I'm not too worried.

What's the exact opposite of sehnsucht? Where instead of the longing for something otherworldly and beautiful becoming overwhelming, you just wake up one morning to find out the appropriate sensory organ for such things has just crusted right over? And some part of you wheezes, aches, and gets dizzy when you try to use it.

I think my third eye has come down with conjunctivitis, and none of the meta-optometrists are taking new patients. They say never to scratch at it, but...

When I finally achieve my life's goal and am appointed Universal Arbiter of Geography, having an autoscrolling website for your restaurant will be punishable by summary execution. I shouldn't have to feel like I'm playing a fucking action RPG just to read your contact info.

Looking at you here, https://www.phoshizzle.club

That faintly sodden whacking sound you hear is that of an outsourced employee losing his livelihood. They died as so many before them: mistaking an occasionally fairly hardcore research job for a data entry position.

I always feel pretty awful when I have to do this. But I'm not going to pretend grading a terrible rater's work isn't a hell of a lot easier than grading a good one, and I'm not gonna pretend that's not a relief after last week.

Gloomy, depressed, self-hatey, and misanthropic today, but it's nothing that an It's Always Sunny binge won't numb.

I'm smart enough to know there's no sense in indulging this kind of depression, just gotta push through. As a depression connoisseur, this one is not without its acrid, bitter charms.

I miss a lot of people and things today. I still don't have any good answers for how to reconnect with any of them. I'm not asking any of you for answers and I hope that's been clear.

#moodsnapshot

(actually, i'm feeling a lot better, just have a lot of steam to blow off from this week 😙 )