Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

(note that this is more mood climate than mood weather, i'm actually pretty good today despite Norwescon being fucking grueling)

Oh, since it's coming up, my yearly pact:

No April Fools hoaxes here. I don't have a problem with them but they're not my style and I have too many friends who are uncomfortable with them.

Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention, for the time being I have appointed a new Head Council. The usual four (Noelle, Kirsch, Rezeya, and [REDACTED]) have had a rough year, so all but Kirsch have been dispatched to Imaginary Space Ibiza to recuperate.

In their place are Kirsch, Laika, Schadenfreude, and Mitraillette. You're not expected to know what any of that means, and if you know me well enough that you do, you're not expected not to shake your head a little sadly at that.

Rough year.

Oh, aside from thinking murderous thoughts about the rich and powerful... I helped Peg run her dealer's table for nine straight hours! I had conversations with old friends I haven't seen in years! I met new friends! I got some really cool ego boosts from people who thought Parallax sounded really exciting and deep! And I feel quasi-charming and quasi-likeable again after months of having my vestigal self-esteem rooted out of me like so much hair clogging a drain! ^_____^

I'll bet we'd see a lot faster movement on gun legislation if these mass shootings were taking place at stock exchanges, Cato Institute offices, and $10,000 plate fundraisers.

That's not a suggestion, but meh, who am I to stop you? Oh, who will rid me of these meddlesome robber barons. If the next 20 years of my life are shitty enough, and the future is still ugly and cyberpunky by then, I might have to have a go at them myself someday.

It's time to start grooming the crows and raccoons to take over. We might just plain not be redeemable. They probably won't do any better, but it's time to give up on humans and let someone else have a turn. I'm really just in this for morbid curiosity at this point and have stopped giving a toss if we make it or not. We suck.

#RezyAteTooMuchNews

NOTE: REZY DIED ON THE WAY BACK TO HER HOME PLANET #moodsnapshot #therockincat #outrageousparadigm #enjoythefireworksfactorykids

*waits until everybody's looking in other direction*

*calmly digs little hole in ground*

*tucks muzzle tight against rim of hole*

*roars and cusses a whole lot about things that are really hurting her but she feels like she can't talk about, torrent of self-hatred, indignation, and frustration neatly muffled*

*shakes dirt off whiskers*

*kicks bunch of dirt over the hole*

*pisses on it*

*feels very faintly better*

*sneaks back inside*

*goes straight to bed*

Purely out of curiosity, is anyone planning to attend Norwescon this weekend?

Today would actually be a pretty darned good day... if I didn't have Alfie and Bibi's song from The Apple stuck in my head. -__-

#LaLaLaLaLa

Ran into this image of Geoffrey Holder (aka "the 7-Up guy") and choreographer Carmen de Lavallade.

Shiiiiiiiiit.

Incidentally, Ms. de Lavallade is still alive (sadly Mr. Holder is not)... and she recently snubbed a White House dinner invitation to protest the Charlottesville rally. <3

Got some odd glimmers of hope today about the ongoing stress. That was pretty good, and it's been a decent little day all around.

Just gotta get one little work marathon out of the way, and then it's an 11-day weekend. (3 will be spent helping Peg at her Norwescon dealer's table, but I'm kinda looking forward to it!)

And I have fake pozole in the slow cooker, so I got that goin' for me too. =^_^=

#TheBigMood #DolceFarNiente #CoreSkills #DaoistExemplar #MaynardKrebsLoafedForYourSins

tag yourself

i'm #3

Huh! That's kind of neat.

I just found out my job's personal leave policy is just a hair short of "meh whatevs." As long as I have hours saved up and there are no major deadlines coming up, there's just a widget on the VPN where I enter my hours and my boss most likely rubber-stamps them.

This means I can help Peg at her Norwescon table and have a full week to recuperate! That's pretty awesome. It also means I now have to finish my last 8 evals in 3 days, but I'll take it...

And in the event anyone but my own critical inner voice was asking: yes, I intend to get back into therapy... but I want to give you such a pinch for saying it. ;p

I think what I really need right now, on a therapeutic level, is a zero-calorie prescription cheesecake that tastes just like the real thing. -_-

#Take300GramsByMouthThreeTimesDaily

I'm okay, for some value of okay. I'm intact and taking more than just the basic self-care measures. Peg has been amazing, the occasional IMs from y'all have been very welcome, I'm still beaming from that raise...

I mean, I just completed my Comedy Bang! Bang! collection, so I can hold out here indefinitely. ;p I think I just might be done with hiding out in self-disgust. I shut down a lot of emotional circuits this year as a precaution, and I don't know if I can get by with them off.

Basically the process of figuring out what really happened has involved opening up my emotional vault. And I'm pretty confident I got at least some of the answers, but... damned if I can figure out how I fit all this painful old crap into this tiny freaking vault. -_-

And I'm just out of kitten pictures and weak humor today. I still feel like I'm living in exile. I can get through this, but I'm so tired of sitting here just ruminating with no input. Like a black box gadget built to mope.

I really need to do a major core dump at someone soon, preferably someone familiar with my situation. I haven't wanted to bother anyone but I'm still recovering from that fight with the ex-housemates a couple months ago, and I'm getting tired of second-guessing everything I do since then.

I'm real optimistic that I'll pull through this, but this is just kind of a weird transitional time for me in general and my reserves are a bit low. No emergency here, just tired of spinning in circles.