Word of the day, and of the last six hours: uhtcearu
mood (~)
I think if I could be anything at all today, it would be one of the next-tier sapients of Earth -- a raccoon, a crow, maybe a coyote if everything else was already booked. ( ;p <3 ) And I'd start my day off by finding something of great importance to humans, like car keys or a $100 bill or pants, and just drag it so far into the forest it will never be found, and just curl up on top of it for a while and feel very proud for my tiny contributions to the only remaining great cause.
mood (---)
A dear friend once asked me what frightened me most. I didn't really have an answer at the time, but I came up with one soon afterwards that's been tormenting me ever since:
"The gap between how people act around me and how they actually feel." I've felt like that's been nothing but a big dangerous guessing game since I was around five years old. And tbh, this year I've felt like I've finally lost that game good and hard and today I'm about ready to just give up and admit it.
media pondering
Saw Memento with Peg last night. Such a good, tight film. And it was a nice antidote to the hollow mystery-box clusterfuck that was S2 of Legion.
We had a lovely discussion afterwards about the joy of mysteries that actually ANSWER questions as fast as they raise them.
I'm so grateful Peg asked me to rein in my pomo surrealist tendencies for Parallax. I'm seeing a lot of advantages to just TELLING A GODDAMN STORY instead of endlessly baiting your audience with hints of one.
I knew those lousy Germans were up to no good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJ2Si2sjHNY
[content: SFW Youtube link; board game "tutorial"; blatant lies]
dreams; dysphoria
Also, there was an energy bar that turned me into a Gothic Lolita. It was mango flavored. I... I think I'm gonna start eating a lot more mangoes just in case.
Also, Jake from Adventure Time? I don't remember what he was doing there, except that I tried to follow him after being rejected by whoever I was trying to hang out with beforehand. And he just shrugged in his Zen-like way and said, "Man, I'm just goin' home and goin' to sleep. You do whatever."
So I woke up. Whatever.
dreams; dysphoria
The last thing I remember from my dreams last night was rummaging around for my Girl Passport so I didn't get kick off of a bus full of transpeople.
Ee-yup. Maybe my subconscious is not as happy with me having this go at just giving up and being "male-ish, just not good at it" as I thought.
🔥💫🐯(火星虎)
ɪɴᴄᴇɴᴅɪᴀʀʏ ᴘʟᴀɴᴇᴛ ᴄᴀᴛʙᴇᴀsᴛ ʀᴇᴢᴇʏᴀ
read this, pitiful humans:
http://egypt.urnash.com/parallax/