Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@acetone_kitten In these dark, uncertain times, take heart that snotty, smelly, crusty, trashy punk kids have not perished from the face of the Earth. They are alive and well in Queensland. <3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j58V2vC9EPc

current location: earth

current mood: real real ornery

current short-durational personal savior: strong bad email #199

current feline optical mode: death lasers

current target: earth humans

Just... goddamn it. <3

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27792602/

But yeah, all in all, feels like some part of me got cauterized over the past year. And there's a very real chance that it needed to go, and I'm better off without it. But whatever it was that got excised, I think I'm still getting some phantom sensations off of it.

There's this constant low-grade twitch in me lately, like I'm supposed to be doing SOMETHING on the Paracosm/Sehnsucht level-- and whatever appendage I'm supposed to do it with just ain't there.

#LostMySqueedlyspoogeBlues

And beneath that, there's a certain... demystification going on in my life. I don't really have an RP outlet. I never dress up anymore. Peg doesn't go as deep, integrating the fantasy stuff into her life, as a lot of my friends. I don't have a sentimentalist around, and I kinda miss it. I just feel like I'm losing touch with a lot of that side of me.

There's good compensation. A lot of it's been channeled into Parallax; that feels more advanced somehow than *just* living in my head...?

It's got its excellent sides, too.

I like being in a place where 99% of the tiny fleeting disputes can be resolved by going RAWR as loud as possible at each other. I like being the only person in the house sometimes. I like not feeling like I have to coordinate everything with everyone. And I just plain like Peg.

But it's just strange, sometimes, and a little quiet, and a little lonely. There's a vibrance to a big noisy high-traffic household I miss.

I mean, god, it's nice to only have to worry about managing one other person's emotional needs, especially when she's refreshingly up-front and light-hearted about what those needs are. But it's weird just having the one immediate option when I'm sad and need a confidant, or want to watch media, or have a joke that needs inflicted on someone, or (gods save Peg's fussy soul) want to go out on a food adventure.

I dunno, though. I still feel restless. It's weird, living just me and a partner for the first time in my adult life. I'm feeling some of that atomization and alienation that I had worked so hard to keep out of my life.

I always felt like I had a loving community getting my back, in the very likely event my flaws made me falter badly again. And now that I'm living outside the tribal lands... I'm surviving better than expected, but there's so much time I just don't know how to fill.

I mean, things are okay. Life is okay. I just headed off another minor health scare, Peg and I had a great weekend, there's no immediate reason to think Parallax's future can't be bright, we still have an awful lot of fun bantering, I'm watching my diet and losing weight so obviously I've got no small commitment to life (given I'd much rather be eating ice cream by the pint)...

Feeling old and moody and maybe a little hollow today. I think it might have been triggered by a discussion of "late bloomers" on Reddit.

Those always get to me, and the more "inspirational" they try to be, the more they feel like they're damning me with faint praise. "Oh, don't worry! We found eight whole people who succeeded past age 40!"

It just reinforces the notion that this is rare, and the successes are some kind of wild exception to the reality you're useless once you hit 40.

TIL that the legendary Pony Express only operated for about 18 months. O_o

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pony_Express

(Actually, I was reluctantly dragged out to the Pride parade by @anthracite, ended up having a wonderful time, and have been feeling a little less unwelcome on this planet.

And the Solstice party put a lot of ongoing fears to rest about my ability to be in a community in general. So all in all, _my_ life is pretty cozy at the moment.

But I'm also about ready to find a Kiwi Farms troll and make installation art out of their stacked, mauled, alphabetically-sorted innards. 🐯​)

Rawrr. =>_<=

#EatTheTerrans
#EatThemAllOverTheirFace
#AndTheirHead

Okay, if your creative work contains the phrase "question everything" in any place or context, as in "John will have an adventure that causes him to question everything!", delete all files and start over again.

If you are a film executive, take a good hard look in a mirror, think about what you've done, and go learn a goddamn trade.

"Question everything" is a hollow, lazy, overused phrase that says nothing but "I have zero commitment to putting actual content here."

Did... did George Will seriously just quit the GOP and urge the country to vote out as many Republicans as possible? Did he seriously just call Paul Ryan "one of Trump's poodles?"

Man, I still hate the son of a bitch, but this is a real interesting change in the political weather. He's always been in the Never Trump crowd, but... holy shit.

I look forward to Trump's inevitable hissy fit. George Will is a complete asshole and a scarily intelligent one and will not react quietly.

Does anyone have access to a nanomaterials laboratory? I need to build a violin.

http://www.businessinsider.com/trump-staffers-are-complain-that-they-cant-date-in-dc-2018-6?utm_source=reddit.com

Positive feedback is slowly starting to roll in. Peg's tarot fans are showing up and liking what they see, just like we'd hoped. My god. Maybe this is really happening.

https://www.metafilter.com/174851/Parallax-space-opera-for-the-New-Sincerity

http://egypt.urnash.com/parallax/

"If you want a vision of the future, imagine a tigress spinning around restlessly and going WAAAAAAUGH - forever."

#bored #boredom #youareboring #earthissoboring #boring #boring #boring #work #play #food #breathing #allboring #soboring #procrastination

In other news, humans are self-centered fucking idiots who take centuries to correct their ruthless Cartesian bullshit, even when the solution should be fucking obvious, because we have zero fucking ability whatsoever to look outside our own experiences. In short, yes of fucking course dogs have an inner life, you knuckle-dragging primate fuckwits: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_consciousness#Dogs

I have a new Short-Duration Personal Savior:

http://www.newsweek.com/unfiltered-hot-dog-water-allegedly-helps-weight-loss-sells-38-each-festival-988609

Every single person who purchased this product got exactly what they asked for. At this point in my life, I have zero faith that they're going to learn anything at all from this, but its still soothing to read.