Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

https://i.imgur.com/REwp3zj.gifv

I REALLY WANT this to become a thing. I want to live in at least one structure designed on this principle during my lifetime.

https://boingboing.net/2018/07/30/what-happens-when-you-let-comp.html

Rarely has a condemnation of the right spoken so loudly and clearly for itself.

https://www.ranker.com/list/best-conservative-republican-comedians/ranker-comedy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyut3GyQtn0

#bigmood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TRkZpFgJcI

#bigmood #bigweepage #recovery

youtube.com/watch?v=94bdMSCdw20

#bigmood #bigweepage #fuckbezos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eb_ZbZOMdGk

#bigmood #bigweepage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXKj9n9kH7k

#bigmood #bigweepage

And you know, since I've already gotten a decent share of my work done for this morning, I am gonna enjoy this newfound sense of emotional unencumbrance and go for a completely random walk in the sun.

And I'm going to make a point of smiling at at least one stranger, because I CAN again.

It felt like nothing positive was happening. I was being told over and over again I just needed to be patient and accept the others involved in this had much longer reset times. But nothing was happening, and it was starting to feel like I was being asked to wait, without feedback, for eternity.

I finally got up the nerve to ask some direct questions, and got the evidence I needed that good things could still happen someday. Frankly... that's all I needed

I'd also been feeling a little lonely again, and projecting my personal guilt over the blow-up with these two onto my interactions with EVERYONE.

Rationally, the evidence pointed to "schmuck, people still like you fine -- you're just reclusive and overly used to having friends come to YOU, because you just moved out of a social nexus." But I couldn't be rational. There had just been too much collateral damage to my sense of who and what I am. :|

And it's been especially difficult because I REALLY DO NOT WANT to have bad feelings towards these people. They were my sisters, and still are. I still love them.

But you know how healing goes after something like this. In the absence of hard information, you tell yourself whatever you need to in order to cope. I found myself starting to think some real unflattering stuff, about myself and them, and it was... not who I wanted to be.

Hey hey.

THANK YOU. Thank you to everyone who I did get to talk to, and to everyone who offered. I am out of social spoons for now... but I might have a few more in the near future.

I heard a lot of what I needed to, finally got a lot of my worst fears debunked. For those of you who don't know the situation... basically, I had a dispute with two very old and dear friends and got kicked out of their lives. I've been reeling ever since.

No CW for this one, sorry.

I could really use somebody to talk to about some... stuff. Community stuff.

There's no hurry. This request is on the order of weeks, not hours. But yeah, I don't think I can bottle up and try to contend with this on my own any longer. It just ain't working.

And frankly, given how little information I STILL have about what actually happened, it all just seems faintly absurd to me, so absurd I'm still dumb enough to think there might be a solution.

Fuck me, rite?

Just gonna put my head down and deal. If I distract myself with enough work and media, I can get through another day with no answers, no opportunities, and no idea what the fuck I can do to move past any of this.

Your uncomfortably timely Word of the Day:

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/agnotology

Well, fuck, our Firefly 1's heating element just broke. And I've been having bronchial issues, so I absolutely can't go back to smoking.

Does anyone have a spare vaporizer that's just gathering dust, by any chance? If not, can you recommend an inexpensive one that's good with ground cannabis instead of concentrates?

I'm not even sure I LIKE Jack Stauber. But I can't get the damn song at the end out of my head.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lzQWC57HSc

Guess it's time to break out the Daft Punk/Strong Bad mashup album. That stuff is like mental Drāno.

try your next bloody mary with a drizzle of sesame oil

i'm fucking serious

One of those days I wish I could just lock myself in some kind of brainbox and let Noelle (my ridiculously patient and kind unicorn-lady persona) take over, possibly for good. I'm tired of being angry and guilty.

But I'm afraid even if the above were somehow possible, all it would end up accomplishing is force her to channel the anger herself. That's basically what happened when I let her front for me on Twitter for a while.

I just wish my identity desktop had a recycle bin.