Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

"'Inside No. 9,' or as it's known in the USA, 'Limey Twist'..."

I love you like my own little supervillain daughter, Artie. But in the alternate universe where you did NOT take a nice little claw-nap on the left lens of my eyeglasses and scratch the shit out of it... I love you rather more.

have otr

zebra threw a party at the twitter jail
he got 12 hours 'cause he started to rail
on an apple ex-employee who's a sexist dick
'cause he had all the morality of a wood tick

let's block
everybody let's block
don't waste my time with small talk
throw an IT bro out the airlock

Also I'm kinda sad that Book 4 looks to be set earlier than Book 3, and the series is over, which means we'll probably never figure out what happened to Hazel. :(

It was a huge and repeated punch in the gut, arguably "worse" than Steven Universe or She-Ra. It was also pretty clearly a direct, targeted, subtle and EXTREMELY SKILLFUL effort to immunize kids against fascist grooming.

I am so fucking grateful and hopeful, and I hope all the right kids in the right places got to see it.

Dammit, looks like I am definitely developing an allergy to crab.

It's just at the "tingly mouth" stage but I think I'll stop now before it gets any worse. I've got enough things to worry about without anaphylactic shock.

(Luckily, I still seem to be OK with shrimp and crawfish.)

I am currently saving you people from a huge memetic hazard by not discussing a really stupid new slang word I've just heard about.

For everyone's safety, I am declaring a moratorium on ALL new culture until we get this resolved.

OK, yeah. It stared me right in the face and bared its grossdorable orange buck teeth at me.

My oldjerksona has gotta be a nutria. Just imagine this grumpy little shit (Fig. 1) as an anthro with grey hair, granny glasses, and a highly musty brown leather jacket (Fig. 2).

And then GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY, KID, I'M IN LINE HERE.

You know what I really want?

An amusement park where I can play at being a slasher-film villain for a day. All props and actors, wiffle chainsaws, nobody really gets hurt, but there's a lot of satisfying screaming and insincere deathbed penitence that I can cackle and ignore.

Maybe I just need to reinstall Hotline Miami or something and take my wrath out on some pixels.

Every single incident like this-- every bad encounter with another member of the general public, every event that leaves me genuinely unsure who's the asshole-- pushes me that little bit closer to becoming an "Oh Hello!" fan insertion, i.e. a depraved and cheerful old bastard who gives not the faintest fuck.

(Example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfdMsxSjY3o)

I wonder if there's any way to turn my hair grey faster. I wonder if there's any alternative to just giving in and becoming an asshole without regret. I wonder if I have the energy to hold out any longer. It'd be a lot more fun than torturing myself like this every time I try to stand up for myself.

I was either Karened at the local cafe this morning, or committed a huge inexcusable faux pas by not covering my mouth, one time, while coughing at a perfectly innocent woman from six feet away. We had a big ugly conflict with everybody staring and then I stormed off home.

She definitely shot first but I was not entirely in the right; I can see why an uncaught cough could make someone real upset these days. I'm pretty sure I would have apologized had she not chosen "maximum snide" as her opening gambit.

I am currently drowning my frustration and self-loathing in the most sarcastic and misanthropic stand-up comedy I can find, reassuring myself that I'm not the only crusty old pariah jerkass out there.

Bless your cynical besotted heart, Dylan Moran.

There are some people on Masto whose cw could say "Rainbows, Cake, and Fluffy Bunnies" and you still just know it's gonna be about grey skies and doom somehow.

Work is functionally done for the week. My intentions for the weekend, in no particular order:

1) Get extremely stoned and drunk.
2) Listen to bleepy repetitive music.
3) Forsake Terran cultural identity.
4) Perv on Anthracite.
5) Pet some very high quality cats.
6) File Louisiana state taxes. (sigh)

Who is this woman?

Both right and wrong answers will be accepted, but I'll be REALLY impressed by a right one.

For anyone who follows Anthracite's account, saw Shemp was AWOL for 2-3 days, and was worried...

I've got His Royal Highness right here next to me getting massive scritch and a little jingly-man time.

As you can see, he is alive and well except for apparently having a shoelace up his nose.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Some people (Peggy for one) have expressed good-natured bewilderment at my weakness for "bad" media.

Sitting here watching Neil Breen's godawful Fateful Findings, I think I might have figured out part of it.

I lose myself in films a little too easily. I go into suspension of disbelief so easily, and grant a film so much artistic license, that I'll leave critical mode all together and let huge plot holes go sailing over my head.

Worse, I'll let myself be 100% vulnerable to any sentimentality or emotional manipulation in a film, and that can HURT if I'm not in the right mood. (Sometimes it's both very good AND very bad, like Secret of Kells and Song of the Sea. Those both stung a lot in ways that I guess are probably healthy.)

But watching a film like Fateful Findings, I can actually have some distance and watch it as a film. It's... it's kinda NICE for a soft sell like me watch a film like Fateful Findings or The Room that's just so fucking ARTIFICIAL in its emotions and construciton that I don't have to go through the emotional labor of letting go. I can just watch a damn film and see it as a film.

nothing derails a thread like kittens :D

(I should really do some readings for you critters next time I'm feeling bored, restless, and useless...)

Today's advice from my stepdaughter, [the Silicon] Dawn [tarot deck]:

"Take a deep breath. Think about all the beautiful things that remain. Resume making worlds, as many as possible, pronto. This will have a greater role in your longing for social justice than you ever thought: see Tumblr. You will have to be VERY patient."