Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

*pauses to catch breath*

...androgynous lapine pirate captain, perma-rubberized mooncat boi, robot jellycoon, inflatable BBW space-tourist zebra, four-eyed cosmic rabbit, different four-eyed rabbit-shaped fractal anomaly with hypnotic tattoos, alien-abductee cyberskunk boytoy, comedically inept Nazi MLP*, ursine monstergal...

(*purest Mel Brooks antifash satire, I swear -- Liebekuchen was NOT an intimidating villainess >:D )

Dolphin, raccoon, unicorn, hieracosphinx, android fox, lavalamp vixen, alien-implantee kittyborg, tiger, metallic fae hedgehog, faerie dragon, punk pixiemouse, mooncabbit, mink banality-elemental, glosscelot, wind-up mousedoll princess, transhuman unicorn triplet hivemind, haunted mongoose rockstar, Martian tigress, gypsy moth sorceror, scion of the Fruit Stripe zebra family (hi!), various faceless dollfolk, grumpy dead spacedog...

I wonder how many shows so far have done a "Fake SNL Intro" sketch? You know, where they replace their usual opening credits scene with a big overblown jazz-driven intro like 1980s Saturday Night Live?

So far I've counted The State, Tim and Eric's Awesome Show, and Comedy Bang! Bang!, but there have got to be more. It feels like it was kind of a badge of honor OOAT, to tell the world "we're not ALL MAINSTREAM AND DESPERATE TO BE LIKED like _those_ guys."

(Let's also say for the sake of argument, for fear of biasing the poll base, that transmen and butch women are also genially encouraged to join in on these Manly Action Games as equals. As a far, far too generous concession to the opposition, let's even add a "but only if they can beat an XY member of the Manly Action Games Club in the sport of their choosing.")

Taking a quick survey for a "friendly discussion" elsewhere:

If modern masculinity remained exactly the same, except that it totally abandoned the elements of degradation of women, bullying, abuse, and exploitation...

...and focused on, say, Doing Bold Physical Things Outdoors With Other Manly People, Cultivating A Masterful And Gentlemanly Mustachio, and Pugilizing Consensually With Other Likely Young Lads...

...would you be okay with it and drop all grievances against it?

God damn it, the queer furry left is still hellaciously dogmatic and frustrating, but... all you people are still so goddamn ADORABLE.

I... I just can't quitcha. 😽

I wonder how much it would cost to get some of these Gaff Cards professionally reprinted with Magic: The Gathering backs? (attn: @KoBunny *evil grin* )

On a similar note, I only recently discovered the phenomenon of the "Gaff Deck." They're basically decks of "broken," distorted, and strangely altered cards for use by stage magicians.

This tickles my brain really hard. It hits two of my major obsessions: playing cards and broken symbolic systems.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicycle_Gaff_Deck

Huh. I didn't even know this alternative set of trumps existed (though I bet Peggy did).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarot_Nouveau#Trumps

NVM my LRT. Our freakin' LANGUAGE needs better terms for vital emotions. Emotions like "you drive me to madness and we have so many things we disagree on, but I still care about you and if you had a body to bury at 3 am I'd still turn up with a shovel, even if some of the ways we've both changed really scare the shit out of me sometimes."

Dunno about you, but that's a REAL common emotion for curmudgeonly little me. :) All curmudgeons are secret romantics. But you lot probably already knew that.

I am listening to a bunch of twenty-somethings have a REALLY intense conversation about cribbage strategy and I can not possibly be in the "right" dimension.

I'm gonna just check real quick to see if ______ _____ is still _________ here, and if he's not... well, you guys have fun on Earth-Prime. I'm gonna stay here on Earth-J♠.

(exhibit A: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25089652/

It's actually hellaciously cute and well-done, but... yeah. So many questions. :) )

Once again, I have found a piece of artwork that raises a very salient question:

Who the hell is funding all these mad-science TF labs? Why don't we ever see any consumer spinoffs?!

Not that I can say much, since canonically this zebra character is the plaything of International Cartoon Sex Toy Magnate, Pushy Garnet.

Also, there are a bunch of people about 10-15 years my junior excited playing Cribbage on our train car. Somehow this warms my heart and ameliorates my fear that The Nice Things Are Going Away.

I really am trying to save people from the brunt of this. It's... it's bad in here right now.

On the other hand, I no longer have a whopping headache, Human Earth Money Job is in GREAT shape, our trip was the pleasant kind of boring, and the view from this train window is gorgeous.

Oh, and there's gonna be a new Good Place tonight. Simple pleasures, I guess. Good Place actually resonates with my situation in a lot of ways. More on that later. Watch the show, it's pretty good.

(which is all my little self-satirical way of saying, yeah, I know I've been really bitter and cranky and reclusive lately. You have all been very kind and patient, and we eagerly anticipate recuperating enough to be able to rejoin civilized, convivial company within the next 50-80 years. :p )

And YOU! With that... breathing in and out you do. And the way you move your lips when you eat food. God, and those WORDS you say. And those little floppy gestures you make with those awful fingers. And those CLOTHES you're always wearing.

Okay, just *maybe* this alienation is more a function of my mood and poor self-care than any actual deep-seated flaw in other people. *blush*

But you've still got this THING between your front teeth and it drives me bugfuck. XD

I swear to god the first person who tries to make me have to care about whatever the fuck petty little shit is going on between petty little Mastodon instances will feel the back of my hoof.

I really don't give a fuck anymore what the Queer Hatfields and the Queer McCoys have against each other anymore.

I'm really starting to feel I'm not part of either family and need to move out of Queer Valley pretty damn pronto.