You know, I waver in my emotions about my move from.. being really frightened to really excited.
Up until now I realize I've had some degree of comfort in many little things. Knowing the area I live, the people, having.. some sort of... if not comfort then familiarity with the surroundings. There's always been some sense of like... I may not know exactly what comes next, but I can envision sorta what... it looked like.

I think maybe for the first time I... largely don't know what comes next. I don't know where things are going to fall. I have reliance on community and friends but I don't know how that looks socially.
I guess there is this stark realization that I'm not really... guided by what comes next, but... who.

Maybe it's a really sappy thing, but I feel more comfort in that then I ever expected to feel.
I don't know what comes next. I don't know what the bad times look like, or the good times. I can't even see the situation that surrounds them.

But I know who they'll be with.
and I feel calm because of that.