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Unfortunately, Earthling friends, it has become necessary to destroy your puny planet. You're not only blocking our view of Mercury, you're just collectively becoming a real big pain in the ass.

There's enough room on the Postcruiser for about two dozen of you. I hope y'all like tall catbabes in shiny boots, living in plastic yurts, and 5-star sushi bars, 'cause you're moving to Deimos and you're liking it, no arguments. Get in the fucking ship. =>__<=

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@zebratron2084 but earth is where I keep all my stuff!

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@zebratron2084

Since space is limited, I'll volunteer to be vaporized. I just hope it happens soon, and quickly.

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@Phorm Fine. Vaporized, bottled, and stowed in the glove compartment. I SAID GET IN THE FUCKING SHIP. <3

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@zebratron2084

You promised destruction goddamnit, and I want to be annihilated. Preferably backward throughout the entire timeline.

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@zebratron2084 I don't know, replace catbabes with jackalbabes and you've got a fairly accurate representation of much of the easternmost quarter or so of the Great Krasmic Desert.

... not that that's a bad thing, of course. 💙

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@Balinares What kind of savages do you think we are?!? D: They're both MANDATORY. It's like military conscription, only fattening. :)

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@zebratron2084

Question, have you dealt with deimos's doom guy infestation?

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@001zlnv All previous human occupants have already been eaten for your safety. *nod*

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@zebratron2084

Ah, well in that case

Woo spring break, woo!

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@zebratron2084 "Get in loser, we're blowing up Earth" is probably the most perfect and concise pick up line to ever work.

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