@zebratron2084 I am getting Daphnielle flashbacks.

@balinares Not familiar?

@zebratron2084 Extremely sincere, earnest, unironic French amateur singer singing, for instance, about 9/11 (https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xcboky)

Has developed something of a(n ironic) cult status due to... eh, just give it a listen. You'll see.

@balinares Oh dear.

@balinares i knew what i was in for within about 500 milliseconds D:

@balinares

*five seconds in*

Oh. Oh, no. No I did not. I did not know. Not at all.

@balinares For the record... I lasted a minute and eight seconds.

@balinares I haven't been able to find any leaderboards, but let me know if I'm up for any awards for that score. I'm pretty confident I am.

@zebratron2084 @balinares Do I need to drag out the "Hooters Remembers 911 - Let Freedom Wing" pin?

@zebratron2084 You have figured out exactly the spirit in which to consume this media. :D With coworkers at a previous company, after a lot of dedicated practice, we eventually managed to put it on twice in a row.

@kistaro OH GOD I JUST NOTICED SHE RHYMED "SURE" WITH "CURE" TWICE. D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D: D:

@kistaro SHE ENDED *THREE* LINE WITH "FOR SURE." I CAN'T HANDLE THIS.

@zebratron2084 Like, for sure!

@zebratron2084 Immediately preceded in both cases by “say” and “day”.

@kistaro It's like, fractally awful. ;_____; I could have just as easily said "pathos" instead of "bathos." I just want to give this woman a hug and say something really nice about... her makeup or cooking or grandkids or something, anything to steer the topic from her poetry. O_o;;;

@zebratron2084 Many people are passionate about things! Many people are incompetent at things. When people are passionate about things they are incompetent at, the Internet happens.

@kistaro As do a guy in a jumpsuit and a couple of robots. :D

@zebratron2084 @kistaro I guess at least it's not the worst I've heard...

@Soreth @kistaro I dunno, I do get serious Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings vibes from her.

@zebratron2084 @kistaro Whoa, harsh.

;)

@Soreth @kistaro

The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occassionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time.
And sank into the pool's mire.
They also smelt a great deal.

@zebratron2084 @Soreth And if YOU can SMELL a GREAT DEAL too, come on down to CARSON’S PAWN & BAIT SHOP for —

@kistaro @Soreth (good line!)

@zebratron2084 @kistaro @Soreth as a kid I noticed I liked my (still not very good) poetry a lot more after discovering that I could do free verse/blank verse without it shattering the universe or messing up anything in particular.

@Leucrotta @kistaro @Soreth Yeah. Seriously. I honestly do think that a little academic experience could do wonders for this woman. Just a crash course in meter and traditional structures and the fact there's more to poetry than rhyming couplets with zero scansion.

@Austin_Dern Her site is such a glurge factory D:

BRACE YOURSELF for this one.

@Austin_Dern AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHH, she's so sweet and sincere and bad at this.

@zebratron2084 Oh gosh, yes.

I'm picturing everything that she brings to a potluck. It's, like, potato salad that would be decent except somewhere she got the idea you needed to sprinkle in ALL the basil and it's, oh, mm . I guess it's better than the one made by the guy who somehow makes an acrid potato salad but still.

@Austin_Dern HAHAHA YES, her work is PRECISELY the poetical equivalent of Hot Dish and Ambrosia Salad...

"Aw hell, naw, Karen, keep your bland-ass potato salad to yourself."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzMzFGgmQOc&t=307s

@zebratron2084 @Austin_Dern

Bumblebee is not lost. It has a great gig. Wander around, eat sugar.