Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

ooorgh. Couldn't get back to sleep, so I cleaned up the kitchen and my desk/table a batch, which at least feels better.

oh man the first Jurassic movie really was the best one, wasn't it?

@troodon you've seen?

https://youtu.be/W85oD8FEF78

I think I'm not up for seeing my parents this weekend as a subset of feeling profoundly introverted right now. Like I am up for drawing around people or maybe getting a meal but otherwise I just want to finally do my taxes, try to improve inking, and try out a beet salad recipe.

#drawing today was trying to do a huge amount of analog inking (turns out this *devours* time). Paladin versus an um, distortion panther.

Duuude! KEXP played the best track off of Nevermind!

Doom scrolling is out, Quake scrolling is in.

Basically my job is people with more authority piling on work, assuming I will do it perfectly for them, because that’s convenient. Help seems remote. That’s a childhood button, so’s being there daily unable to go anywhere else, so’s having to stay late.

All these childhood buttons on top of just; doing a ton of work without down time, some of it very physical, and during a not especially soothing time, eats my ability to cope.

So any mistake is a fear spike and actual blame hits really hard.

It’s very hard to avoid parsing a straightforward “you made a mistake” as a childhood “you fucked up you [derrogatory]!”, when in the context of “there are a batch of things for you to do with no/little instructions” which is a very childhood experience for me. Even without old associations making it worse the experience sucks and further contributes to wanting to skip and head straight towards forest.

like for the record, this is what I look like with my glasses off. CW for people, vague eye contact.

It's really weird having a war where a lot of people on both sides look vaguely like me. And I don't mean the kinda racist "they're European" thing, I mean the "look like my blood relatives probably because my family's from there" thing.

#drawing today since I'm feeling a little less worried it bugs people. Kobolds or something prepare an ambush for a low level adventurer.

it's truly amazing how Zappa did not LIKE weed, did not USE weed, and yet basically wrote the perfect music for being baked. Which I mean, so did Mozart, and I don't think Mozart ever smoked out, which is a pity since he strikes me as someone who would've adored weed. Anyway.

oh YEAH the best part of the best part, with the Allosaurus!

okay yeah admittedly after listening to The Sorcerer's Apprentice I will need to listen to the music from the BEST part of Fantasia.

1740 last one out of the office.

NSFW or New South Fucking Wales, a particularly adult themed part of Australia. #TheLandDownUnder

Just… do people actually like me posting drawings? I feel like I need to check.

I’m so sick of being me, could I please be someone better instead?