Not really a stoned thought, mh
A big thing I figured out this year is “stripped of negative childhood messages, bad experiences are still bad.” Fits with how intensity and frequency of events can turn just stress into catastrophe and maltheism. I largely can’t control unpleasant bullshit from slamming me. I CAN de-fuse childhood associations and catastrophizing which make unpleasant bullshit more intense (ie makes me more vulnerable to the next thing). Doing so while stressed is hard, though.
Long live Duke Leto!
First Attack https://youtu.be/WnigFGD2MPE via @YouTube
oh no we are taken by surprise and with only conventional weapons by men who fight too well to be the local talent, they can only be the Emperor's super elite badasses. Maybe running around at top speeds yelling will help. Especially with a pug.
and now the voice from the outer world (more Dune posting, MST reference)
Trip To Arrakis https://youtu.be/gwyjyY3r9Gg via @YouTube
whoa so this is what it's like inside a bong
ahem
He who controls the spice controls the universe! And what Piter did not tell you is that we control someone close - very close - to Duke Leto. This person, this traitor is more valuable to us than five legions of Sardaukar! The Duke will die before these eyes and he'll know - he'll know! - that it is I, Baron Vladimir Harkonen, who encompasses his DOOM! Buahahahaha!
Dune, gross bodily functions, the Gom Jabbar
"Bladder... full. It's been hours since you last went. Your kidneys aching. Barely able to hold it. Water sloshing... Sloshing... Sloshing."
"GOTTA PEEEEEEE."
"Kul wahlad! No woman child ever took that much! You may go to the bathroom, young human."
* Paul races down the hall at top speeds, tensing PC muscles the whole time *
...on the other hand paying stuff now was a good judgment call, since it means I'm now incredibly depressed and angry eating dinner, and if I'd hit this after a bus ride before dinner I'd probably scream loud enough/throw shit enough for the neighbors to call the pigs or something.
I was REALLY SAD because the weekend was coming to a close, so I figured hey, I'm on the bus a lot this coming week; let me take care of rent and bills so I don't have to do them after a long bus ride. So I'm no longer sad! Because I AM ENRAGED AND WANT TO [description of graphic violence redacted].
Seattle's a fucking mistake. I should have never moved to this particularly worthless city.
Images, humans, eye contact
One last #drawing today, a batch of portraits from imagination, working larger.
More serious, mh -
And I know; “you’re coyote, you’ll adapt. You always do.” But “I can change with this situation and find joy” *is* coterminous with “I feel lost and sad.”
More serious, mh -
Especially in former Northgate Mall - site of a few memories and now largely a big hole in the ground plus sports complex- melancholy is REAL easy to come by. I don’t want to suicide (I probably want to transition) but even in the sunlight, it’s uncomfy.
More serious, mh -
Meanwhile; most of my time goes to a job I dislike for people I’m neutral about, for what feels like not enough money for landlords’ and others’ greed. I’m slowly improving my art but there’s AI, constant hustling, far better artists and costs which preclude ever doing it FT. Cons, therapy, capoeira and dating seem out of reach; the threat of Covid and far right government is omnipresent, it feels like just time, now. Car’s in the shop, the hardest time of year lies ahead.
Images, fantasy creatures, eye contact, nudity
#drawings today, wizard duel (dwarf vs goblin with familiar and walking throne), imho looking at Wayne Reynolds art had a positive influence. And, finished up a furry pinup from earlier this month, added more of that kobold “cozy fantasy” character I’ve drawn before.
Birdsite opinion, five minutes hate
One key difference between me and our beloved head twit is that when I do something phenomenally bad, I don’t have thousands of people telling me I’m like Moshe Rabbenu. Other differences include “I am probably conscious that this was bad or hurtful,” “I am cognizant of my ability to make mistakes,” and “this crummy decision has cost less than the income of the entire Midwest when you exclude Warren Buffet.”
dude DUDE DUUUUUDE! an actual possible panjegan! The Sassanians used to use something to shoot five arrows at once and nobody knows what they looked like.
Archery - Shooting the Persian Panjegan https://youtu.be/GtpH_4ExmG8 via @YouTube
Archery: Special Ottoman Shooting with a Majra or Nawak / www.archery-th... https://youtu.be/ES__ddb7E74 via @YouTube
a "solenarion"!
Lots of random gunk, but some drawings and cooking talk too. Obsesses about DnD and related topics. Left-leaning/profoundly frustrated politics. Black lives matter; trans rights are human rights.
Occasionally NSFW art and discussion, please do follow if you're 18+.