Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

#drawing this morning, some evildoers! Demonic graft wizard, paladin of tyranny, halfling master thief, werewolf priest of Malar.

It takes a while for neurochemicals to clear from my brain, and consequently if I get hit frequently or intensely enough, I just won't have resources to defuse negative feelings. Worse, because my brain picks up on similarities between situations and thinks of terrible scenarios to try to avoid them, I can easily make my own situation worse by adding more to the pile of anxieties and upsets. Which in turn means more time that I'm more open to anxiety and upset, it can cycle worse and worse.

And it was this way for years and years, so there's an element of familiarity to push back against as well. And this is before we even start talking about all the self hate I had for years on top of this as a way of distracting me, explaining the situation with something familiar and stuff I'd been told, and directing anger inwards where it'd be harder to spot.

So easy to get caught up in feedback loops which play right into where I literally have brain damage from trauma, way more than what's actually going on and where my situation now isn't as bad.

“Find yourself living the dream in Finland” OHHHHH YEAH beer AND seasonal depression

I feel profoundly cranky about the usual sources of profound crankiness.

My name it is Jack Hall
Jack Hall!
My name it is Jack Hall
and I've robbed both great and small,
but my neck shall pay the wrong, when I die, when I die!
My neck shall pay the wrong when I die!
I've twenty thousand stolen, that's not all!
I've twenty thousand stolen, that's not all!
I've twenty thousand stolen, and I'd kill for twenty more,
but my neck shall pay the wrong, when I die, when I die!
My neck shall pay the wrong when I die!
I rolled up Tyburn Hill in a cart, in a cart!
I rolled up Tyburn Hill in a cart, in a cart!
I rolled up Tyburn Hill, it was there I made my will,
sayin' "The best of men must part, so farewell, so farewell!"
Sayin' "The best of men must part, so farewell!"
Up the ladder I did go, that's no joke!
Up the ladder I did go, that's no joke!
Up the ladder I did go, where the hangman spread his rope,
oh, but never a word I spoke comin' down, comin' down!
Oh, but never a word I spoke comin' down!

hangman, hangman,
hold it a little while
I think I see my friends comin', ridin' many miles.
Friends, you get a little silver?
You get a little gold?
What did you bring me, my dear friends,
to keep me from the gallus pole?
We didn't get no silver!
We didn't get you no gold!
Don't you know we're too damn poor to keep you from the gallus pole?

Rough looser #drawings tonight; a gloom stalker ranger from 5e D&D ambushes orcs or possibly hobgoblins, a harengon monster hunter ranger sketch and also attacking a giant, and a tiefling warlock meets her patron in a nightmare.

corn liquor tastes sweeter in this town
could it be it's the same as the last?
I swear I seen your face before,
just as familiar as a bottle and a glass.
Hey darlin'! Sleepin' on the blacktop,
Hey darlin'! Runnin' through the trees, honey,
Hey darlin'! Leavin' for the next town
Less'n my sense catches up with me.

on a gatherin' storm comes a tall handsome man
in a dusty black coat with a red raht hand
*bell*

you may be familiar with the common types of hernias that you can get

so just settle down, let me clue you in

there's incomplete
strangulated
bladder
lumbar hernia
Richter's hernia
obstructed
inguinal
and direct

livin' with a hernia (rupture!)

The Battle on the Ice: April 5, 1242 (Peregrinus expectavi) https://youtu.be/HdC39ShxoUo via @YouTube

THRIPSHAW'S DISEASE! Discovered by ME, E Henry Thripshaw! I'll show them at the Royal College of Surgeons. I'll write a musical! I'll sell the film rights!

It really bothers me that the ADF (genocidal religious fanatics) have an acronym that similar to the ADL (who are kinda the opposite of genocidal religious fanatics)

It's a little like if the ACLU had a similarly named American Christian something which were arch conservatives.

Today I; did some cleaning, cut my hair, took out trash and recyclables, put in for a batch of jobs, cleared an inbox, did some grocery shopping, refueled the car, re-opened my UI claim. I have a load of laundry in the dryer, a load of dishes in the dishwasher, and have a Teams interview at 5.

I am now REALLY BURNED OUT, but there was no graceful way to not do all that, you know?

I hear her voice
calling my name
sound is deep
in the dark
I hear her voice
and I start to run
into the trees
into the trees

SHIFT TO HISPO! SHIFT TO HISPO!

right number one;
you have the right not to be killed,
murder is a crime!
(unless it's by a policeman, or an aristocrat)
these are your rights, know your rights!

right number two;
you have the right to food money!
provided you don't mind a little
investigation
humiliation
and possibly a bit of rehabilitation!
know your rights, these are your rights!

number three;
you have the right to free speech,
as long as you're not dumb enough to actually try it!
know your rights, these are your rights!

and from there to The Klezmorim, because I identify as Ashkenazic Jewish more than I identify as Romani.

Although admittedly the only one of these songs I know by heart includes selling horses, so.

I somehow went from "man the ballroom music in Van Helsing isn't very good Eastern European music" to Parno Graszt.

loudly proclaiming "Hawt el maht!" in my best Oded Fehr voice during the Van Helsing soundtrack

although I realize that the old bugaboo - "you could be a lot better/you need to be a lot better" - has been made relatively meaningless by the way I could be a lot better or worse and I'd still get those messages.