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Worrying about Trump because he's having problems with senile dementia is like saying the danger of a nuclear exchange is that people affected by material carried by weather patterns are at higher risk for cancer.

music, pol mention 

let's listen to something other than NIN. I know. Schostakovich is pretty easier going while depressed.

* 3 minutes later *

DEATH

💀​

TO ALL THOSE WHO STAND IN THE WAY

OF FREEDOM FOR WORKING PEOPLE

coyote sing along hour, NIN lyrics, dissociation, suicidal ideation 

the me that you know is now made out of WIRES
and even when I'm right with you
I'm so far away
I could try to get away
but I strap myself in
I can try to scratch away
the sound in my ears
I can see it killing away
all of my bad parts
I don't wanna listen
but it's all too clear

it won't give up it wants me dead
goddamn this noise inside my head

coyote sing along hour, Elmer Fudd voice, NIN, violence/sex mention 

I have the futuwe in my hands I can devouwuh
I'm hawd as fucking steew and I, I have the powuh
I'm evewy inch a man and I'll show you somehow
me and my fucking gun
no scwewy wabbit gonna stop me now!

time for this joke again

ME CIRCA 1997: oh wow. It's all in here - abuse, religion, rage, entrapment, despair. Trent Reznor really GETS it man. It's like he was there all through my childhood.

TRENT REZNOR: there was a GIIIIIIRL and she didn't LET ME SCHTUPP HEEEEEEEER

1996's Rollins Band release, "PUNCH SOMETHING!" Nearly a full hour of urban alienation and unsuccessful attempts to medicate nigh-suicidal depression with sheer rage. Oh YEAH!

coyote sing along hour 

and here I am, keen eyed
my mind is low to the ground
and in my mind, real time is mine
and I know what I know.
I step up and get none;
I step up and get none.
I take less and less and less and less and less than none.

Kung Fu Panda 4 introduced a fun new character and I am truly surprised I didn't know about this beforehand through having found several reams of porn about them.

heck I'm surprised nobody's drawn extravagant porn of the villain in this one. Except she's way more @anthracite's aesthetic and I'm unsure if Peggy utterly despises the entire series or not.

I was also surprised that the follow up to Po's biological father meeting his adoptive one reads this strongly as a married Gay couple.

I want... something, this morning. Affection? Sleeping safely next to someone? Actual acknowledgement by my parents of my differences and boundaries as an individual? Different societal takes on ethnic differences? More books I don't have or make enough time to read?

A croissant?

Realizing that I desperately want to be acknowledged as ADHD, which to be fair is like acknowledging I have green eyes, because I want my horrible failures to be not an intrinsic moral flaw or pure fucking egocentric stupidity which merits punishment. ADHD doesn’t stack great with CPTSD.

oh HEY

I realize the chance of anyone celebrating actually reading this are roughly about nil, and besides Eid's tomorrow in India

but blessed Eid to anyone celebrating.

Gatorade ADULT! Same great flavor you've always <strike>loved</strike><strike>tolerated</strike>accepted, but now 8% ABV!

coyote sing along hour, all caps, Rollins Band 

GHOST RIDAH MOTO-PSYCHO HEEEERO
GHOST RIDAH MOTO-PSYCHO HEEEERO
OH BABY BABY BABY HE'S BLAZIN' AWAY
LIKE THE STAR STAR STARS IN THE UNIVERSE YEAH
BABY BABY BABY HE'S LOOKIN' SO CUTE YEAH
RIDIN' AROUND IN A BLUE TRUNK SUIT YEAH
BABY BABY BABY HE'S SCREAMIN' THE TRUTH
AMERICA IS KILLIN' ITS YOUTH!

"what does integrity mean to you?" I dunno, I'm LYING about especially wanting this job because I need to survive. Believe me, I try to lie only when I have to, and that means to people in power.

perhaps 11 minutes of Henry Rollins yelling about childhood abuse will make me feel better

youtu.be/DDjdTxlA-FU?si=Ju7EHI

duneposting 

"Put your hand in the box."
"What's in the box?"
"Bean pie."
"I sure do love pie!"
"STOP. I hold at your neck the gom jabbar. This one kills only animals."
"Are you suggesting there's no pie?"
"NO! I'm suggesting you might be human!"
"Not even marionberry?"
"NO. You feel an itching burning... flesh crisping... nerves on fire..."
"THE PIEEEEEE!"
"Kuhl wahlad! No woman child ever withstood so much!"

no, you fuckers, I have exactly NO desire to dye my gray/white hair back to brown as a confidence boost

If I'm gonna color my hair I'd prefer unrealistic bright orange, or possibly green. The ONLY reason I have not done this is I need to kiss up to my father and potential employers.

hey El Rinconsito is hiring an accounting assistant

could I get paid partly in tripas burritos?

they're in Fife, though.

coyote sing along hour, sui ideation 

someone tried to tell me something,
"don't let the world bring you down,"
nothing can do me in, before I do myself
save it for your own, and the ones you can help

I've given everything I need!
I'd give you everything I own!
I'd give in if at least it could be ours alone!
I'd give it everything I've got
to blow it to hell and gone
burrow down and then
blow up the outside
blow up the outside
blow up the outside world

since I don't know if the theme tune by Ron Wasserman has a name, we can just refer to it as "Previously On X-Men"

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