the big things I did with my day at least so far is I did an in-person interview and colored a #drawing
coyote sing along hour, RAtM all caps, ungh! SHIT!
okay so apparently I'm listening to the first album again
ONE SIDED STORIES FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS
I'M INFERIOR?
WHO'S INFERIOR?
YEAH YA BETTER CHECK THE INTERIOR OF THE SYSTEM
WHICH CARES ABOUT ONLY ONE CULTURE AND THAT
IS WHY WE GOTTA TAKE THE POWER BACK
probably unfunny, food, drugs, Nazis, bad fake German
so there's this brand of smoked bacon and shelf stable sausage (and apparently a lot of other stuff), Hempler's.
and every time I see the brand name I think "it's like Hitler but for HEMP!"
*Riefenstahl looking footage*
"Wir brauchen mehres Lebensraum AUF DAS SOFA! DUUUDE, jemand andres moechten TACOS?"
*crosses arms, huge cheering*
now I'm trying to figure out conjugation for "bogarting the bong"
ich bogartiere, du bogartierst, er bogartiert
what really gets me about how Flash Gordon is Space RHPS is how it's NOT an exact map.
Like okay obviously Ming is Frankenfurter, Clytus is RiffRaff, Aura is Columbia, Dale is Janet, Zarkov is Dr. Scott. But Flash is Rocky, Voltan is Eddie, and Barin is actually Brad. This is weird enough without Richard O'Brien showing up as NOT the RiffRaff analog.
movie quote, Queen, Brian Blessed all caps, Space RHPS
"Okay, let's go in after them."
"GOOD! THEY'RE COMING THROUGH! SQUADRON FOURTEEN, DIIIIVE!"
"SECOND WAVE! DIIIVE!"
"Stop all engines. Repel boarders."
"Hiero's hit! I'm going in after him!"
"IMPETUOUS BOY! OH WELL, WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER? HA HA HA HA HA DIIIIVE!"
"Prince Barin! I'm not your enemy, Ming is, let's all team up and fight him!"
"Lower him into the swamp!"
#MovieQuote
movie quote
"We the people of Ardentia! We have suffered since you blasted our kingdom! We can offer you nothing this year but our loyalty."
"Excellent. We prize nothing more than loyalty. Now tell Us, how great is this loyalty to your Emperor?"
"Without measure."
"We are delighted. Fall on your sword."
"Death to Ming!" *zotz*
mh, journaling
Today, I'm noticing that I have this childhood training which affects how I respond to failure.
1) something happens which I don't want.
2) I've been trained that this is never just something that just kinda happens, or even that it feels worse because of poor sleep or not eating, but because of something I did wrong, typically being stupid, unable to focus, or not working hard enough
3) how other people are treated complicates this. Either I want what they want, which carries the implication they are innately better than me (or will always be innately luckier), OR it's not something they want, which implies I'm bad for wanting something a good person wouldn't want.
4) related, I feel completely alone; either I feel alone in wanting whatever, or I feel alone in washing out of whatever.
5) lastly I'm not supposed to have a negative reaction to this at all - I'm not supposed to be frustrated, sad, angry, or give up (unless it's something GOOD people wouldn't want). This is especially bad if the reason I failed was already my fault. And obviously I'm not supposed to be unhappy with being punished fairly (and it's always officially fair), so by now this compounds with the initial frustration and comparison to other people.
Lots of random gunk, but some drawings and cooking talk too. Obsesses about DnD and related topics. Left-leaning/profoundly frustrated politics. Black lives matter; trans rights are human rights.
Occasionally NSFW art and discussion, please do follow if you're 18+.