Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Let’s re-post Monday’s gesture #drawings, now with skellies I finished up today.
https://awoo.space/media/fOR6qGsTrA6vUKnNrm8
https://awoo.space/media/ug_H7X_SBGBoj-2p7no
https://awoo.space/media/ZbjCT79r8POEpnv1N9U
https://awoo.space/media/vcVMAoy5r55Ol-NwAzo

I’m ugly, I’m stupid, I’m not the right gender or ethnicity, and I failed to join the military, make children, get a job with my degree, keep an even temper, make a batch of money working at a valued job, or anything else remotely worthwhile.

Apparently I’m only one bus ride of being constantly elbowed in the stomach, and kinko’s having crappy printers, from losing my temper at a kinko’s employee. Which makes me the bad guy but, fuck it, I’m the villain of the piece anyway.

Gotta say if I successfully change my (middle) name to my preferred name, I’m going to miss the improbably Scots name my not-even-vaguely-Scottish parents decided was a good idea.

Currently do not feel like the worst crap on the planet. I’m wary. But also hungry and if nothing presses my buttons in the next hour, I’m getting noodle soup.

Wanna know something I think is cool?

I’m still thrashing about with Tolkien/D&D goblin designs but meanwhile goblin week has been full of other mammal design cues. Less WOTC, more Henson Studios. It’s like how nerds rephrase any bad guy species as admirable, only with artists and appealing instead.

The ideation is screaming at me early this morning. Because if I could successfully pull it off, then people would just scream about how I was a coward and hurt them, but there wouldn’t be anything else I could ever fuck up ever again.

Did NOT shred drawings. So that's progress. It used to be a really bad habit of mine when I was this low - some sort of "well you clearly have no future doing this and it's not what you're supposed to do, maybe if you just destroy it you'll stop thinking this erroneous way"

Try this again; this morning I found out that a big chunk of my job was going away which made me feel useless and disposable. This afternoon just as I was vaguely staggering back from that, my coworker pointed out a mistake (easy fix, probably very easy to miss) but this hit my feelings that I mess up all the time here, related to how the last job I was constantly told I was fucking up. I know that doesn’t sound like much but I reacted very poorly. Plan is to go home, shower, then idk what.

I hadn’t seen my little friend Alice in months and I thought she wasn’t with us anymore frankly, but on the way to the bus stop she wandered over and mewed at me and let me pet her and she followed me for a bit too. I love her so much!

So that’s good I think.

Oh yeah John Williams’ stirring “March of the Brachiosaurs.”

related; the contrast of social media insight into other peoples' emotional state (which can be pretty bad), with the way data can filter and people will front in social situations. When I perceive coworkers or others as blissfully well off and happy in contrast to my own grinding issues and lack of money, is that actually an accurate perception? I sure do use it to beat myself up.

a very bad intersection between

* wanting things, b/c sentient beings desire security and comfort

* a society which presents me with an idealized version which mixes what I actually want with what I'm supposed to want

* a lot of indoctrination that wanting things is both selfish and completely impractical, as it's NOT going to happen

* association of low self worth with feeling trapped, such that I feel like worse shit when I feel trapped and feel worse stuck when I feel self-hate

Also I appreciate my friend’s patience with me saying dumb things every time there’s a cat in Planet Earth II, like “can you get it? Get it get it get it,” “izza fudge,” and “oh is that your rock? It’s your rock.”

Sir David Attenborough [after footage of a coyote finally catching a salmon on the 3rd try] “even the coyotes have become fishermen “
Me “oh fuck you Sir David you condescending prick.”

GO TEAM SMALL SCRAWNY DESERT CANINE! #PlanetEarthII

And now Sir David Attenborough visits one of the most hostile environments on earth.

Just like pretty much every other environment Sir David’s visited in this series.

If Sir David Attenborough shows up in your neighborhood you should probably move or evolve unique adaptations he will talk about condescendingly.

Why are surfing penguin-sonas NOT a thing in this fandom?

Kinda dig how #AlteredCarbon filmed the museum scenes in UBC’s anthro museum, with the comments about victors committing another murder by rewriting the wars, and the cortical stacks. That’s one hell of a dig.

A NEW LIFE AWAITS YOU IN THE OFFWORLD COLONIES

Oh wow let’s OD on Internet while looking for kuro ramen. We’ve got everything; Reddit, Imgur, and let’s face it, you’re probably stuck getting high off shitty low grade Pinterest.

Chummer. #AlteredCarbon