Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

This job isn’t great but it’s not actively terrible. It’s not where I want to be next year and I was really hoping that this would be, when I started, but I can sit it out a month or three more.

It’s about a 4-5 on a scale of 1-10. For comparison the job I had in 2017 was a 4 on a really *good* day, and the bad days were 1s. I think about the best job I’ve had was consistently a 7-8.

A thing that gets me about “alpha males;”

You probably already know Mech has said naw, that’s not how wolves work, that’s how really stressed captive populations work. Or that there were alpha females too.

But when “yes these animals are really hierarchical” was accepted, Mech and others said that wow, the alphas sure seemed really miserable, the lower ranked wolves who weren’t jockeying for status seemed much happier.

These people are idealizing incredibly stressed, cramped up wolves!

If I get chewed out for idk possible protocol violation for calling FedEx to provide a suite number so they can actually deliver, I will be so pissed off. I half expect it, hopefully this won’t happen.

My boss was just extremely jerky in a conversation where I was told obeying a direct instruction from my senior coworker was my mistake. I’m trying to keep perspective, but that’s fairly difficult, and 1) now that I feel a little more confident I can see how prior experiences like this wrecked me and 2) it is possible for *both* me to fuck up and the other person to be a massive jerk.

This in contrast to how I *also* really want all the wacky over the top D&D - somewhere between The Sword and Gloryhammer, Lankhmar meets Melnibone. Spells flying everywhere! Repentant mindflayers! Flail snails, umber hulks and behirs! Huge ass sprawling dungeons! OH YEAH.

Still trying to think out games.

One mood I want to evoke reflects Wardruna, Danheim, The 13th Warrior, Mari Boine. The world is desaturated, fog and rain moving in the cold gap of mountains and forests. A long mail byrnie, shield and splints for arms and legs are about the best armor you can get. Spellcasters are rare and eccentric; they carry their spells as tattoos or code braided into their hair as often as precious books. If you’re not ankle deep in mud, it’s probably snow.

hey kids, who wants to get loaded up on mushrooms, grab some shields and bearded axes, strip down utterly starkers (bear or wolf skins if y'got em) and go on a strandhoegg?

I'm thinking Arby's.

A weird thing about furry species stereotypes is that elephants and AWDs are both pretty matriarchal and yet big badass girlsonas are typically spotted hyenas and wolves.

Oh wow. So this explains why after growing up in Georgia and college near Detroit, everywhere else seems so incredibly white;

African American Population in the United States, as percentages https://twitter.com/benjancewicz/status/981306869225590785/photo/1

So today I discovered Ulvensang. My best description of their music is, if you can imagine walking to the banks of a river at night and in snow, with all sound muffled except the cold water flowing, *that’s* the feeling their stuff has. It’d be monotonous in a different mood but right now it’s wanted.

Then I remembered I’ve lived that, being alone at the water’s edge under black trees and lighter sky. I want to spend more time on that when I’m not trapped here.

So question, @starkatt; the casting setup you’re currently hashing out for making dongs?

Think it’d adapt to making garage kits even though material would likely be resin rather than silicone? And if so what would I need to do to enlist help?

And I know this is real minor by comparison to things like the morass of housing and healthcare and food distribution and literally how greed is this close to extirpating our species but still I wanted to rant about this, so thanks for your patience.

The valuation is so cruel (see “if we actually valued entrepreneurship we’d make owner-operator or restauranteur way more feasible”). But ALSO

this need to show you’re INNOVATIVE is cruel and self destructive in a lot of ways, but specifically I wanted to talk about elevating every idea to creating light bulbs or IC engines. Not every little tweak has to be heralded as the world upside down. Some Apple products changed the world and others don’t. It’s intellectually dishonest.

We get so hung up on associating morality with the dumb competition and *it’s a crap shoot to some extent*. It has to be. All the honest hard work and thinking outside the box that went into your quality wagons doesn’t matter in 1910 with Model Ts flooding the market. Running a restaurant is incredibly risky; serving great food is one of many reasons you might succeed. People fucking try, from warehouse and office worker serving as basically conscript labor to actual entrepreneur.

Ok, unlike a lot of folks here I think there’s value in capitalism, *however* I feel the system merits critique and compromise where the traditional American response is things are great right now and criticism is communism which is bad because communism is bad because it’s bad because shut up and be a good GenXer/Millennial.

Anyway.

I feel if capitalism continues we need a saner and more compassionate way of doing it. The Scandinavian idea of”lagom” comes to mind sure but also;

In The Call of Cthulhu, the horrific thing isn’t just the big C, who’s basically someone’s fat fur/macro dractopus ‘sona (way cuddlier when phrased like that).

It’s that 1) big C is one of an *entire species* of huge dractopi (they later show up as a reason the Elder Things didn’t overrun the world); and 2) C is just the high priest of much more powerful stuff.

If that’s how bad things get when only the big C shows up, having zir city or gods show up is infinitely worse.

Before work, I plonk down to draw at Starbucks (it’s a bit too crowded to easily move elsewhere in the shop) and the guy at the next table is laughing. Just chuckling steadily- no guffaws or tear-upwelling uproarious laughs, just a steady chuckle for 15 minutes or so. *Not* the sort of laughing you do when you’re hugely stressed.

Like having a laugh track but those have far more variation.

The only person around here is me right now. It's so quiet here and now that I don't want to play music, just because I want to really feel this.