used bathroom. Used bathroom again. Somewhere in there figured out the thing that was really bothering me was basically every single assumption listed in CBT workbooks. Trying not to go zooming off into a *completely different* source of negativity.
Ideally what I want is to be in a gigantic cuddle pile, utterly naked while being told I'm wanted and loved, but as this is quite unlikely I'd settle for more time off from work to draw, drink coffee and read this Forgotten Realms splatbook.
all caps, Tolkien
SHIELDS SHALL BE SPLINTERED!
SPEARS SHALL BE SHAKEN!
A SWORD DAY, A RED DAY, ERE THE SUN RISES!
RIDE NOW, RIDE NOW, RIDE FOR RUIN AND THE WORLD'S ENDING!
personal, uspol adjacent.
Wow. I’m incredibly bitter and angry about my country’s anti-intellectualism and how it plays out in our politics. Having been raised to consider patriotism a virtue (I’m old, military brat and southern enough), it makes me kinda squirm to openly, sincerely express such a foul opinion of the USA.
Gator Games in San Mateo is one of those shops OOP material winds up. Sadly (not surprising as it’s been months since my only prior visit) they no longer had the 4e Undermountain that I wanted. Somehow I stumbled out having purchased only a half priced Dragon magazine and a very reduced price 3.5 Races of Faerun.
mh thoughts
So I feel really emotionally ugh today. Anger, anxiety, sadness. I feel like a lot of the last few months I’ve been fucked up as emotional fallout of the abusive, trapped, stuck situation I had in 2017.
The good; if that’s how messed up I can get from one terrible year, maybe I should be more forgiving of the speed at which I haven’t recovered from childhood.
The bad; just how badly fucked up emotionally will I be for long if I make it out of the Bay Area or into an art gig?
Lots of random gunk, but some drawings and cooking talk too. Obsesses about DnD and related topics. Left-leaning/profoundly frustrated politics. Black lives matter; trans rights are human rights.
Occasionally NSFW art and discussion, please do follow if you're 18+.