Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Something that seriously bugs me about there being actual Nazis running around, police and Administration are just great with it and excuses are made?

My parents are old, and footage and stories coming back from the camps were really early and bad memories for them. They aren't my favorite people in the world, but being around for this isn't what I'd want for them. It's horrible to say "I'm glad my Gramma and Grampa aren't around for this," but it's true.

Gonna grab a short nap. Tried to clean inside of headphone jack with no luck but I made a Friday appointment to get it loaded at.

I will try not to worry you, I have seen things that you will never see,
Leave it to memory, me,
I shudder to breathe
I want you to remember.

#drawings from reference from today; I don’t know how easy it will be to get drawing time the next few days.

wanting to talk about things more personally, but Slack doesn't feel okay right now.

I tend to so believe in any external narrative that comes along, usually in the way that is least compassionate to myself. It's sort of amazing that I didn't wind up in a cult.

#drawings from reference and a neat burl they couldn’t get out of the fence!

Dick Van Dyke, a distant and much larger relative of dik-diks.

Just because you got liver and onions at the diner doesn’t justify practicing hepatomancy at the table.

I thought of “fast” in the religious sense where water isn’t okay but I was supposed to drink water. Consequently they needed to stick me in three places to get 8+ vials of blood. Oops. But it’s done and I’m getting breakfast finally and my arm’s sore. Will pack more of the old house out soon.

Mmmm, chicken nazgul soup.

It's really hard not to really beat myself up about stuff this morning.

now I'm really internalizing that why people like Leyendecker more than Rockwell (or vice versa, and sometimes you swap who you like more) is edge control. Leyendecker looks "designy" because he uses so many hard edges and he has a lot of really intense spot lighting, everything's so crisp and solid. Which of course isn't how the real world looks so not only does Rockwell sell a more human/sentimental/schmaltzy world but it's more believable.

REM, "Undertow" - https://youtu.be/TpGxvVQtPy8

this thing's dynamite. I nearly drowned as part of the accident, I had to tread water for hours, the being dragged under is a powerful metaphor for me.

I slept for 8 hours, which is better than the prior two nights, but it was very broken sleep and I still feel very kicked in.

Waiting for start date from agency. Emailed them, will call in an hour to bug them.

Waiting for a blood draw, so I haven't eaten for a while, but that's... eh. At least fasting for religion or medicine is for something more useful than anxiety.

New Adventures in Hi Fi is such a good album. The whole thing makes me want to get on the road, head north through nowhere.

https://youtu.be/zYu5jwXleZU

this short crying jag brought to you by health/relationship/job worries and the amazing work of John Williams

I started these drawings to work through an anxiety attack, and tightened the first during a house meeting.

“You don’t want to give us a crick in our neck.”
“Or a Watson or even a Rosalind Franklin.”