Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Urban #fox taking shelter during this mornings downpour #London #woodberrydown https://twitter.com/cianodonnchadha/status/1034779240942559232/photo/1

Tfw I get distracted by LARGE COMSTRUCTION EQUIPMENT. Some alternate universe me told my father to stick it and got licensed to operate trenchers, excavators or loaders, and they’re both better off financially than me, and happier.

Also the description for any given trencher on Ditch Witch’s website reads as robot porn.

my new housemates (now that I've moved to a newer worse-insulated place, and they live under me) have this wakefulness cycle where they're quiet early in the evening, at at 11-1 they're up, chatting and watching TV in their room. Just tried texting them to ask them to turn it down a little.

"Conan, what is best in life?"
"Vhell I like rainy afternoons, cats and bookstores. Da really good bookstores also might have a cat."

I feel bad about a batch of stuff, I want to cry.

Laundromat! I’m at the laundromat! Doing laundry! *fart noise*

Second day down. Still really emotionally wobbly, wanting to be less broken *now* instead of a careful long haul. Everything feels out of reach, which is feeling rn, and not necessarily accurate .

Chugging along on training. Still sad and scared sporadically, I wish someone could hug me in meatspace or that I got more drawing time.

Current mood; wish I could afford therapy. I’m still unsure how i feel about gender stuff, and it’d be good to talk about that as well as all the other progress I’ve made in the last 8 months.

tonight's cute video found while waiting for indica to kick in; https://youtu.be/ItRMOCkrglc

A younger me would spend this evening cutting into their forearms, calling the suicide helpline and then chickening out when someone picked up. So I’m making progress by some standards; I just wish I felt better.

It's apparently incredibly difficult to get out of the chair, and walk to the burger place as planned.

And that’s day one. I’m sad and tired and want to be in woods but I made it through.

More memories of my grandparents when I must have been really young. I’m not sure why all this is coming out of memory space today. I still miss them, I still wish childhood had been different.

A good memory came back;

It’s in the year after I moved here and my then girlfriend is showing me Hakone Gardens for maybe the first time. We stop at a cafe in Saratoga in an old arts and crafts building. Beyond the big opened veranda doors are redwoods and sunlight, and I’m with her and things are really really good just then.

Without gods there are no storytellers and without storytellers there are no gods.

Waiting for train to the city. I slept poorly but for the night before first workday in months historically,pretty well.

wakefulness with poor temperature regulation/sweating, this sucks.

Two more #drawings from reference today!