Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

Since I need a distraction I’m going to talk a little about the late Russ Nicholson. I didn’t know him though he sounds like a great guy, but I DID know his art. At the time TSR was showing me stuff by their greats, and this was often color and fairly clean.

Congrats!

Morning went from “bad traffic, bad parking, yelling threatening homeless guy” to “this mock call was I feel unfair and grader used confrontational accusatory choices, therefore I feel like I’m in 5th grade again and would like to ditch work to have an edible, not even draw.”

As expected they set me up to fail then nitpicked and I failed. This can’t in fact reflect anything about me.

Another adult who expects me to get it perfect without them helping and actively hindering. And you can tell by my word choice I’m triggered.

Inhale, exhale. I’m seeing how it all fits together, intersecting assumptions of my powerlessness, lack of optimism or realism, feelings of persecution, hypervigilance, self denigration. Inhale, exhale.

Chodron talks a lot about the warrior-bodhisattva, peaceful warrior etc. This was something that *really* used to sour me given how "warrior" is this western heroic ideal used to sell stuff.

When I think about it though, war *isn't* glorious and heroic - though it can be in places that's entwined intimately with how it's full of fear, anger, loss, pain, uncertainty. Doubtless the literal thing was familiar and horrifying to a lot of Buddhists in the past (even the Sengoku warlords who idealized some of it). And Buddhism loves apparent contradictions - you can be a complete pacifist and be a warrior if life is a lot like war.

I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how this is going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. A world without YOU. A world without rules and restrictions, without boundaries or borders. Where we go from there is up to you.

ALTHOUGH YOU TRY TO DISCREDIT
YOU'LL STILL NEVER EDIT
THE NEEDLE I'LL THREAD IT
RADICALLY POETIC
STANDING WITH THE FURY THAT THEY HAD IN 66
AND LIKE E DOUBLE I'M MAD STILL KNEE DEEP IN THE SYSTEM'S SHIT
HOOVER
HE WAS A BODY REMOVER
I'LL GIVE YOU A DOSE BUT IT CAN NEVER COME CLOSE
TO THE RAGE BUILT UP INSIDE OF ME

YES I KNOW MY ENEMIES!
THEY'RE THE TEACHERS WHO TAUGHT ME TO FIGHT ME!
COMPROMISE
CONFORMITY
ASSIMILATION
SUBMISSION
IGNORANCE
HYPOCRISY
BRUTALITY
THE ELITE
ALL OF WHICH

STANDING IN LINE
BELIEVIN' THE LIES
Y'BOWIN' DOWN TO THE FLAG
YOU GOT A BULLET IN THE HEAD!
A BULLET IN THE HEAD!
A BULLET IN THE HEAD!
A BULLET IN THE HEAD!
Y'GHOT A BULLET IN Y'FUCKIN' HEAAAAD!
#ungh #shit

Today’s #drawing, draugr attacking.

sure, I can listen to the Led Zeppelin song which makes me want to self-injure or get drunk. I mean what's it gonna do this point in the day, make me depressed?

Oh god they’re going to mark me down for not sounding caring enough in response to the situation right? I was so focused on finding the right info I forgot to say some sort of condolence phrase.

They threw me a really difficult case as a third mock call and unsurprisingly I messed up, expect a really poor score so, all the old messages are screaming at me right now, y’know? I think I need to draw ASAP (hour plus off) and remember I’m not a shitty fuck up at everything.

Making fun of Billy Corgan by singing “IIIIII hate sand/it’s coarse and it gets everywhere, OH YEAH!” to “Zero.”

Singing ALL lyrics to The Cranberries’ “Dreams” as the cool “aiaiaaaiaiaaa” part at the end.

A bit late but, here are some pretty parts of walking in a legit bog on Sunday morning!

This is frustrating but it doesn’t make me stupid, it doesn’t mean they’re going to punish me, and it doesn’t mean I’ll never get it right by these folks. It’s just an uncomfortable immediate mistake and someone jumping hard on my buttons.

Oh man it’s THAT Yahrzzeit. Rest in peace, and… thank you wherever you are. I’m STILL really getting mileage out of stuff you contributed to my childhood.

top ten reasons why Eternal Champion SUCKS?

gee, what did Eternal Champion do to you, make you roll all your stats with 3d6 in order?