Always tooting for th'antihero @Momentrabbit@awoo.space

tldr:
not great
still here

longer version:
resources extremely limited
depth of year-end burnout was perhaps deeper than realized
managing to maintain appearances during daylight hours at work
heavily self-censoring night activity to avoid messy breakdowns
low on meds, trying to get hold of psych, usual difficulties
tired
apologies

our work is never over

Today we learned what happens when you never clear the slop out of the bottom out of a new industrial waterjet for over a year, because your manager was told at installation it was 'maintenance free', so he shrugged and threw away those instructions.

o.o <---- thousand yard stare

In the spring, we tap the data as it begins to flow through the sugar maple; we boil off the packet headers to make sweet, delicious infosyrup.

All this work, time, medication, money, resources... just to hold things together.

I share this because I know some of you are struggling to hold things together. That it takes so much effort, sometimes. Just to keep the plates spinning, the balls in the air another few minutes. And when we succeed, the reward is nobody knowing. We pass, at work. On the subway. Walking down the sidewalk. On the phone.

I know it's hard. I'm proud of you. Keep going. *offers hug/pawbump/nod of approval*

Descent arrested. Stable.

It is almost a truism that the meds work, but staying on them consistently is an effortful task. Timing is becoming complicated: some interact with others, and spacing them out reduces unpleasant side effects. Dose changes still affect my innards more abruptly than my mind. Unexpected interactions between psych and nonpsych meds do interesting things sometimes, like flush potassium unexpectedly out of my system. S'tiring.

Going downhill fast. Back as I can cope.

Would it be advantageous - if one was teaching oneself to be more ambidextrous for Reasons, and currently righthanded - to have a horizontally-mirrored layout numeric keypad on the left side of the keyboard? it's already upside down compared to telephones, and transportable with USB HID.

I keep hearing the faint but distinct sound of a ST:TOS medical tricorder just above and afore my right ear. Every so often, the warble breaks through the background noise at work.

Which is not a bad representation of how my brain would visualize tickling the temporal lobe of someone locked in a delusional state.

So. If somebody's trying to directly frob my perceptual, emotional or memory systems to get a message through?

You've got my attention.

Try harder.

Introduction time again? The months fly by.

I'm Moment. Slightly silly rabbit. Taking a Jackalope certification course online, hope my antlers will be in the mail soon. I used to draw, hand's frotzed now. Used to chat, had that impulse surgically cut off. Spend my days operating an industrial laser and waterjet, my nights staring into screens and sleeping. Very rarely but occasionally Make Interesting Things. Exhausted often.

Interests:
#making
#cryptids
#doctorwho
#syntheticlife
#3dprinting

Amazing how a single offhand, meaningless flippancy can utterly unmoor your life's expected trajectory.

(RL stuff. It's... Complicated.)