DATA UPLINK ACQUIRED @Nine@awoo.space

seriously the english school system for teaching languages is bullshit and worthless for the most part, we start teaching far too late for it to have any meaningful effect in most cases and it's largely "learn this shit by rote and use a dictionary in the exam and we don't give a shit whatever fuck off they should all speak english anyway bloody foreigners".

I hate my country sometimes for this bullshit

shit that got weirdly political there for a moment lemmie just...

cw that just in case.

yes i butchered the spanish there because I took maybe a couple years of spanish in secondary school pre GCSEs and didn't retain a goddamn thing

but no a bunch of eldrich creatures decided to just show up on holiday one day and they're all

"jbj guvf vf n fjrrg jbeyq lbh tbg urer qhaab jul bhe enpr jnagrq gb qrfgebl vg fbeel nobhg nyy gung"

and i'm all

"uh...no....no hablo espaniole?...uh.... .__.;; " for a few moments until I realise it's rot13.

my timeline got a bit filled with rot13.

like there's suddenly some kind of arcane ritual going on and I was asleep during it and I missed out and now there's tentacle beings just hanging out chilling in the sun and sampling delicious frozen treats and I'm just like "wait is there an event or something?"

quick thing re last boost Among The Sleep is a horror game but a really good one? So be warned it will likely be quite scary and tense, there's some jumpscares, and ...the subject matter, not to spoil anything, may be hard for some, and it was uncomfortable for me.

So just bear that in mind.

#storiesoversimplified

(one last one)

Shantae : Half-Genie Hero: Unquenchable Thirst.

and there we go, there's all the ones I posted in the thread last night. :D Thanks for the idea to do this, @Felthry !

#storiesoversimplified

Ori and the Blind Forest: Cute adorable little forest spirit creature goes on a wonderful journey and makes friends.

The Final Station: Quite Literally The WORST Day Shift Ever.

Goat Simulator: A joke goes way, way too far and the creators have no way to stop it.

I Am Bread: The previous joke becomes self-aware and causes the protagonist to be gripped by various mental health problems...and causes the player to break many controllers.

#storiesoversimplified

UFO: Enemy Unknown: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Rookie with the Blaster Launcher.

Skyrim: The prophecised hero arrives and immediately destroys local economies with iron daggers. before riding a pink cartoon pony with rainbow coloured hair through the sky. (@typhlosion's version of this was better tho)

Starbound: Travel the Universe, Meet Interesting People, Get Eaten by Fascinating Local Flora AND/OR Fauna!

Stardew Valley: *blissful happy sobs*

#storiesoversimplified

Duke Nukem 3d: Dudebro has the WORST. midlife crisis. ever. It's embarassing for all involved.

Final Fight: A mayor invites the worst ninja and The Most Generic White Male for the angriest tour of his city the world has ever seen.

Earthbound: A young boy is forced to suffer the consequences of his grandpa's criminal past.

Sonic '06: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umDr0mPuyQc (warning shouty)

okay it's time for me to sleep so im off to bed yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

oh heck my internet is being AWFUL tonight. Imma reboot the router before I go to bed. also this amazing thread may or may not be trying to eat Awoo.space too ^^;; but I suspect that's just my internets.

protip: when playing the original UFO Enemy Unknown/XCOM UFO Defence, DO NOT ever give a rookie a blaster launcher. Heck don't even give ANYBODY a blaster launcher unless they are very good with psychic stuff adn have high mental resistance and morale because the MOMENT they panic, you are dead.

and a rookie won't even get out the landing craft on the first turn without unloading it into his entire squad. and he WILL be at the back.

and everyone WILL die. :|

I let it happen. Don't be me :<

LB: shit that's a good pun.