I am in this torn-feeling situation in that... I like my friends here, I do. I had a steady sex and/or cuddling life before transitioning and now I am -starved- for physical attention on a regular basis. Since exploring myself more and transitioning (let along on species stuff) I've grown more distant from most everyone here.
It hurts, but perhaps it was inevitable.

It's sorta why the "I need to get out of here" admission has been so difficult for me. I have amazing support and I couldn't have gotten here without it... and here I am desiring so hard to leave and it feels... like abandonment, almost.
At the same time and other side, I worry that I've been romanticizing moving and the Seattle area. I'm secretly terrified that my own immense desires are secretly sabotaging my longer term plans and... IDK.

*shakes head* But... I have love there. Among all the other reasons is the pressing fact that it's been... a decade since I've been near someone I love... and my SOs... I love them so much and I feel like SO much would be better if I could just -HOLD- them at the end of the day.
It makes every other worry just fade away and even now I'm tearing up.
My heart isn't here. My spirit barely is.

Even if I have to spend every last thing I have and own... I... need to get out of here. I need to be with my loves. I need to be near my kith and however reality differs from what I think it all might be.. I don't care. I DON'T CARE.
I want this so badly and maybe I'm afraid of wanting something so much. I'm so afraid, then, that I'll never get it. I'm afraid I'll fail.

@Oneironott I know that one.

I'd caveat wanting to move with; moving to Seattle won't solve all your problems and some of it will probably be pretty terrible. But it's *still* a worthwhile idea because it'll relieve *some* stress, and that will make it easier to deal with stuff there.

@Leucrotta Yeah. I know it's going to be difficult and it WILL have its' downsides, but I grew up and lived out here in the midwest and... ugh, no more. There's a lot more positives I gain living out there than negatives, and at the very least it'll give me a better position to reevaluate things from later?

Ohio really sucks and yeah, it's got a good cost of living but that's... it?

@Leucrotta Any personal issues I have not related to location aren't going to go away, but out there I'll likely have better resources and pretty decent chances job-wise as someone in IT/software area. given some time and research into it, I plan on even looking to go back to school *shrugs*

I've been planning this since long before I stumbled on postfurry ^^'

@Oneironott I think it's a good idea.