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Hello! I'm Vloelei! I'm a transfeminine postfurry, otherkin, Neptunian Otter!
In a material sense, I reside currently around Cleveland, Ohio. I work IT of sorts here and plan to not be here much longer.
In an immaterial sense, I live on a planet called Halcyon, although I'm known to wander to all manner of places helping folks!
I enjoy good and bad movies, craft beer, music & production of, Reading/Writing, and generally meeting new folks and being social :)

Mental health (positive) 

"Getting Better" however is feeling your storebought neurotransmitters preventing your brain from going down the usual self-hating hole that depression would bring me down in this scenario, and instead using the day to relax, grab a Red Eye, play some chill music and write transformation pornography

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It's friday the 13th and I had to take my car into the shop for what is probably a coolant leak so fuck me

Tarot of the techincally-new-day 

The Empress. Reversed.

*gazes back* Yes, yes, I know. It's pretty obvious.
But what of it?

Temperance. Reversed.
Ok. I got it. Wrong question.
So what -comes- of it?

Three of Pentacles. Hmm. Odd. Understandable as current situation of desires in a way.
I'll ask again.

Nine of Swords, Reversed.
All the wrong questions. I got it.
So... What if I go?

...

Justice

vent (orthocosm, location, moving) 

Even if I have to spend every last thing I have and own... I... need to get out of here. I need to be with my loves. I need to be near my kith and however reality differs from what I think it all might be.. I don't care. I DON'T CARE.
I want this so badly and maybe I'm afraid of wanting something so much. I'm so afraid, then, that I'll never get it. I'm afraid I'll fail.

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vent (orthocosm, location, moving) 

*shakes head* But... I have love there. Among all the other reasons is the pressing fact that it's been... a decade since I've been near someone I love... and my SOs... I love them so much and I feel like SO much would be better if I could just -HOLD- them at the end of the day.
It makes every other worry just fade away and even now I'm tearing up.
My heart isn't here. My spirit barely is.

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vent (orthocosm, location,slight nsfw) 

It's sorta why the "I need to get out of here" admission has been so difficult for me. I have amazing support and I couldn't have gotten here without it... and here I am desiring so hard to leave and it feels... like abandonment, almost.
At the same time and other side, I worry that I've been romanticizing moving and the Seattle area. I'm secretly terrified that my own immense desires are secretly sabotaging my longer term plans and... IDK.

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vent (orthocosm, location,slight nsfw) 

I am in this torn-feeling situation in that... I like my friends here, I do. I had a steady sex and/or cuddling life before transitioning and now I am -starved- for physical attention on a regular basis. Since exploring myself more and transitioning (let along on species stuff) I've grown more distant from most everyone here.
It hurts, but perhaps it was inevitable.

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vent (orthocosm, location,slight nsfw) 

I'm incredibly tired of living in this area. This isn't new, but It's getting more pressing. By now I hoped I'd have a software job. I don't. I have a tech support position that I sorta enjoy but make internship money. It's frustrating but not all bad, but I have to do -something-...

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I have a few things to get off my chest. I feel much more comfortable doing it here under warnings because at least I can feel easy that folks aren't forced to see every little bit of venting.

new Blade Runner (light themeing spoilers, personal( 

It kind of messed with me because a big theme is the realness of memories and… YEAH. Having memory issues with dysphoria and past trauma is a nonsignificant reason i identify strongly as a synthetic and it deals more heavily with that on a level that gets pretty personal

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new Blade Runner (loose, no spoilers, impressions) 

This was better than i expected honestly. Still pretty blown away.
-most everything that it could do wrong is avoided. It stays very true as a sequel to the first
-cinematography was amazing. Soundtrack was amazing and goes SO well with each scene
-theming is so good and faithful to the original.

I'm really proud to share this life and path with folks who are at the forefront of Being. I'm proud that we continue to fight. I'm sorry that we have to, but… we will survive. I would rather fight and be me than pretend to be anything else

MH(Neutral) 

Seriously, I'm going to have to budget my spoons better woah

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‪I need a shirt that says “I messed with the the occult and all I got were these webbed paws“‬

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