Roady @Roady_Dragonfae@awoo.space

@Ulfra_Wolfe@witches.town I can definitely relate on the butch part. My female side is very rough around the edges. Like a cowgirl.

After pulling out of my dark headspace, I should start listing off things I should be thankful for.
-Achieving a promotion
-Getting PTO to see the orthopedist and get a better boot.
-Two weeks cigarette free.
Last but not least, I couldn't be more thankful to have such kind and loving people in my life. Without whom, I wouldn't be able to get my van fixed, or a roof over my head, or a ride to work. You're all truly special, and if I continue to cry, it's with love and gratitude.

@Oneironott I screamed myself awake. xD

When one gets too comfortable, there's always that moment when everything is shaken to the core.

Everything that I've held onto in maintaining the four agreements slips from my fingers and I have to scramble to regain equilibrium.

I'm very well aware that this will be a lifelong challenge as I continue accumulating my hoard of experiences. At the end of it all, though, I always get back on track and move forward in helping people with more knowledge gained.

@xurnami Good god... *hugs* I've met a few people like that. Having to put up with that from family on a daily basis... I'm sorry.

Looking back on this morning, I think I was just trying to so hard to stay positive that I just...Shut down. There are still negative aspects to this last week that can't be ignored or swept under a rug.

@KawaSeadrake *accepts hug* I'll be okay... I just had a really bad episode this morning.

@neonNeptunian You really do dish out the most amazing hugs, Ellu. *huggss*

I woke up really early. Not of my own accord. I can't go back to sleep... Adding to the fact that I'm without any kind of mobility, be it my vehicle... Or even my own two feet... It hurts... Not just on a physical level, but on a psychological one... I have a lot I need to cry out.

Upon mentioning my accident while working light duty at the cashier's counter, the customer we were helping says "Could be worse. Could have been me."

If I had the ability to shoot lasers out of my eyes, my glare would have made his head explode.

Going on a road trip across the desert and finding myself isolated from where I want to be. Paying a shit ton of money for a theme park with nothing in it.

Upon leaving I remember why I quit smoking and drinking in the first place. Feeling like I had failed myself, I cried myself awake.

Jesus fuck... I thought I had actually fallen off the wagon. There's still more to process with this dream given I was asleep for at least ten hours. But man...That was intense.

Holy shit. I still have a lot to process from this dream. It started when I found myself at a bar, smoking and drinking. Going camping with some friends, and one of them stole a truck towing a boat.

I follow them all the way back into town before they crash it into a river and I had to rescue them before it sank. Leaving them on the side of the road, I took off.

To be continued...

So almost a week ago a 3/4" sheet of plywood left me with a longitudinal hairline fracture on my big toe.

Bright side of all this? I officially start training as a driver next week! Which means one month of sitting in the side seat.

I'm in crutches, and somehow I still managed to beat everyone across the street. xD

It's frustrating when I don't know whether or not I've hurt someone... It leaves a tightness in my chest and a feeling of remorse that leaves me quivering.