Sparrow 🐦 @Sparrow@awoo.space

@Concerned_Catgirl@witches.town Gotcha

@Concerned_Catgirl@witches.town
I only see two replies to your post (including mine), so is this a subtoot?

I do follow you, for the record.

@Concerned_Catgirl@witches.town
Hostile? It seems way too passive to be a hostile action. I think people (at least imo) wait a while before following back. I tend to prefer to keep my follow count lowish so my timeline's easier to read, so I wait a bit before deciding to follow someone. It isn't hostile, it's just how I do things.

@maloki :(

I knew before, but I hadn't had one. But now I *know*.

Did you know UTIs are terrible

What if:

Every time you have a massive cry about something that happened in your childhood or whatever

It's just *resolved*. Just like *gone*, *poof*, *zippo*?

And you can move on.

Instead of crying again about it 2.5 months from now.

The first time I remember being aware of my weight was in a ballet class. I thought I was so much fatter than the other dancers. I was 3 years old.

Later, being weighed by my grandmother, who assumed I weighed 150 lbs when I actually weighed 105.

Well. Conversation with roommate just now dredged up SO many childhood/early teen issues for me just now that I don't know what to do with myself.

Going to go to sleep, I think, and maybe start looking for therapy now that I have health care.

Which. By the way.

I HAVE HEALTHCARE NOW! Woo!

I also have been off my prosac (used to be on 50 mg/day) for 1 month now.

But I was bitter and resentful while I was taking prosac too, so I think this is more of a CBT/mindfulness problem than a chemical one.

Maybe I could try keeping a journal?

I use a mood-tracker app just to track overall patterns and shit, but it's not *expressive* the way a journal is.

I haven't had success at keeping a journal since I was 18-21 (when I was weirdly *super super* good at it) but I could give it another try.

I'm actually not bitchy, I'm bitter, which is worse (kinda) because I'm not expressing it- just swallowing it up.

I think I need to do a serious re-evaluation because I don't *like* being this bitter/grumpy all the time. *

(*it's not actually "all the time", but it's more often than I'd like. Usually at home, after a long day)

@Vann@glitch.social Also butts! Butts are good. xD

Today was hard, but I:

- Mostly kept up my low-carb meal plan (went a little sweet on a smoothie)
- Made a yummy smoothie for tonight and prepped chai tea chia pudding for breakfast
- Opened up about my stress with a friend and my mama, which *surprised* helped me feel a lot better
- Kept my spending low this past week
- Set a boundary about how long I'm willing to work late tomorrow
- Made specific plans to call healthcare options tomorrow

Goals:

By April 2018, I will:

- Have a regular doctor that I visit and get prescriptions from
- A summer job lined up
- Plans for a *full time, with benefits* job for the fall
- CBEST underway

I just feel gross and disappointed because I really wanted to enjoy and do well at it, but I'm already feeling burned out and I've only been working there for 3 months.

I'm feeling so depressed about healthcare, *my* state of health (/lack thereof), and how exhausting my job is.

I feel especially guilty because I just became a registered behavior therapist, and I'm already questioning this path because it's a) really tiring and hard on my physical health, and b) doesn't provide benefits at my 15 hours/week.

Oh yeah I forgot to share

I had a cute enby moment at Sprouts earlier tonight.

My cashier had a they/them pin, & I showed them my trans flag keychain. We talked about being cool & how ugh being "ma'amed" is.

I was so happy nervous I had butterflies ten minutes afterwards.