distressed egg 🍳 🔞 @distressedegg@awoo.space

@idesofmerch oh wait lmao i'm still posting from my horny account. UHHHHHH BUTTS OR SOMETHING

@idesofmerch they ALMOST got there with this one. let's just flat out have high sci-fi zelda

@idesofmerch Lunk Starwarser

can someone please tell me where to find one of those shoujo sailor-moon-but-punk pastel jean vests except it says "Big Dick Is Back In Town" embroidered on the back in cursive?? asking for a friend (who is me)

FROM LAST MONTH ON PATREON: aaaand that's it for hypno month! ONE LAST LITTLE BIT OF MACHINE FUCKERY because c'mon, i couldn't resist.

subscribing is horny. horny is supporting independent artists. supporting independent artists is pleasure: http://patreon.com/distressedegg

#nsfw

https://awoo.space/media/jah7bp4bMkg6EWMpiG8

FROM THE COMMISSIONS DEPT: i should probs post these on here too– did these a little earlier this year for togepi1125! y’know, the Macro Falco guy. (http://furaffinity.net/user/togepi1125 ) i’m part of the CANON now…

#nsfw

https://awoo.space/media/vzmfQdoimpZenlAnGEw https://awoo.space/media/hkAYAMhxs2XPVu1zAM8

FROM A MONTH AGO, ON THE PATREON: just a quick sketch i dashed off over after-dinner drinks. milk goes with EVERYTHING. with EVERYTHING!!!

quench your thirst for weird shit and subscribe today: http://patreon.com/distressedegg

# nsfw

https://awoo.space/media/xzrCdeh0ZpZjcHA2eSQ

PS: we're currently working on possible long-term independent solutions that let folks subscribe to my early-access blog without going thru patreon, but as for now we're gonna steam ahead on there until a better option becomes viable. nobody's dropped off mine yet, which i'm INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL for-- y'all are fuckin fantastic and i'm so pumped to draw you more weird fun smut <3

@itsnero @skolli@mastodon.social aaaaAAAAWESOME.

@skolli@mastodon.social yeah i don't even know

anyways, i'm thinking about switching over to something a little more low-tech and foolproof. those $1 donations are my bread and BUTTER. thanks for sticking with me this year, y'all

on top of all the horseshit happening with patreon, apparently someone's scraping my shit on yiff.party??? first off, go fuck yourself, and second off, all this content will eventually become public ANYWAYS, why are you even DOING this

sorry for changing my voicemail message to me bellowing "BIG BALLS PHONE CALLS ONLY" and playing the Hans Zimmer Inception noise before hanging up. i realize not all my phone calls are big balls phone calls and i didn't mean to intimidate anyone

FROM THE PATREON: looks like there's a new alpha in town. (when in doubt: ALWAYS draw beefy dog men. always always ALWAYS.)

subscribe today for more good good boys (and girls and enbies and etc): http://patreon.com/distressedegg

#nsfw

https://awoo.space/media/cc3QMW_FbabM2hV9TvM

http://strawpoll.me/14462763 WILD CARD POLL TIME, BABY. vote for what YOU want me to draw a solid month of next! the winner of this poll will count as a single vote in the official poll on http://patreon.com/distressedegg/.
voting ends at 6pm tomorrow, so lock in those votes, you horny fuckers, you. <3

(WANT A BIGGER SAY IN THE MATTER? Subscribe today at the $5 level or higher and vote in the Patreon poll!)

@Dex thanks. everyone deserves to be their own eternal masterpiece

@anthracite see that's what I'm thinkin

the reason i guess i identify with them is because a lot of the time i feel so powerless against the thrashing tides of the world's chaos. i wish i was something stronger, something that could define my own body and existence on my own terms. until we reach a world where we can make that dream a reality for everyone, i can at least practice for the part as best i can.

part of me clings to the tiny spark of hope that i can get my consciousness poured into one someday. and like, that's a DISTANT sci-fi pipe dream with the way the world is, but like i genuinely feel kinda rooked by getting stuck in a body that i had no say in creating, and that i have only the most limited abilities to edit. i want to be sexy and strong, yeah, but also smart and self-repairing and able to survive for a long, long time.