gendery good(?)ness
@KawaSeadrake @Oneironott I went full F ("y'never go full F!") and realized I felt almost as dysphoric on that end of the spectrum as I did in the first place???? So I floated more towards the feminine side of the middle and that feels pretty comfortable.
I confuse people in public. Most default to feminine pronouns, some assume masculine, and the rare gem recognizes me for what I am and uses they/them or asks for my preferred pronouns (and totally makes my day).
gendery good(?)ness
@mawr @KawaSeadrake there is always a lot of factors to work through. It's particularly hard to remember how dysphoric I was before so I end up thinking that sometimes too, but then I remember how terrible it was and how much I don't like it >.>
gendery good(?)ness
@mawr @KawaSeadrake @Oneironott I'll correct people the first time, on the off-chance that the error is borne of ignorance. I want to give people a chance to do the right thing. After that, if they still get it wrong, the mistake's on them, and if they persist on being assholes, it will be patently obvious that they're assholes to anyone watching, but trying to force an asshole to stop being an asshole usually only results in a more aggressive asshole.
gendery good(?)ness
@Oneironott @KawaSeadrake @mawr At the same time, I find myself in an increasingly weird relationship with gender as a _thing_. I know what I am, but the older I get the less I worry about finding a word that maps to the qualia that's shared with anybody. More and more that feels like trying to prove that at least one other rabbit-identifying individual is also really a robot underneath, or validating the Dave Conspiracy.
Poststructuralism is the hardest drug.
gendery good(?)ness
@literorrery @mawr @KawaSeadrake things that make me miss Mindlink for 500
gendery good(?)ness
@Oneironott @KawaSeadrake I never correct anyone, 'cause I've determined that my gender isn't really anyone else's business. It's part of my identity, and I share that with people I want to be closer to. ♥️
Related thoughts: I sometimes wonder if I lean to the feminine side because I'm afraid that by being more masculine I'll believe that I somehow failed in transitioning or something? I don't think that's the case, but it's something I find myself wondering about.