Pastelbat @pastelbat@awoo.space

Feeling both sleep deprived but also "Wow, this is what clear-headed feels like? I'd forgotten this.." today

Counterpoint: Was feeling "Wow, this is what clear-headed feels like?" at 3am last night and that's aha, um

Calm down plz, gentle brain

Now I have a stable care setup I do miss Oscar

He went to a good family, and it was the right decision at the time (care stuff took years to get sorted, and I was struggling to handle cleaning upkeep with disability) but still

I raised him from a tiny! He was my good boy.

I hope he's doing okay. 💖

@eris@cybre.space *nodding* same, same

@wolfie@queer.party @colon_three Someday I will remember the same phone number I've had for 6 years now

Today is not that day

@colon_three yeah hm

all of this applies to me also

welp

@octopus I do find it a bit suspect when 'emotional intelligence' is treated as a culturally-agnostic standard in circles that would (rightly) eyeroll the same assumption set when applied to IQ/etc.

It's a newer concept I guess, with less time and funding invested so far in investigating it, so people just kinda assume it's a universal truth. :/

(I have a lot else to say about this stuff but I'm hyperfocusing badly, so not going to get into just now x.x)

@hokaze@queer.af From past attempts, I'm vmuch thinking it will have to be v. open to variation because of the nature of my disabilities and their impact on me

Tbh just having something like a morning routine as a habit rather than "consciously plan + execute the stuff you need to do that you can remember" and nothing else would be something I'd consider an overall success.

..I suppose on reflection my goal's less about maximizing productivity or similar things as it is just making coping stuff easier to do at lower levels of executive function/energy.

I planned to write up a schedule to try and structure my time better but ran into the problem of being too tired to do anything all day

Which feels a bit "that's going to be a problem with this whole idea" since it's more common than not x.x

(idk, input from people in similar positions appreciated, equally just talking out loud)

@Brainship @eris@cybre.space agreed! I enjoy reading your movie posts a lot; I don't interact with them much, but I enjoy seeing them

@octopus(iIf I ever became a AAA videogame auteur, GRIM_TRIGGER would 100% be the title I'd choose for the polished-but-forgettable action game that either skyrockets or destroys my career)

@eris@cybre.space what a good dog

@octopus @kitsch

This post is a very good writeup of the harmful dynamics in NVC: https://www.realsocialskills.org/blog/nonviolent-communication-can-be-emotionally

When we had it pushed on us (13-15), we recognised there was something very manipulative & unfair, but we did not have the words/context/framework to grasp exactly how/why.

So finding this was very "Oh, wow, that's exactly it" for us. I hope it is helpful. (there's some further discussion in the NVC tag)

Do you have a link to the compassion piece you mentioned? I would be curious to read it.

@octopus Tri:

I have a comment here that is not critique, or assuming this is the case for the situations you find yourself in but is related and may be useful information, if you are not already aware of it;-

There is a toxic package of New Age ideology & anti-skills called "Nonviolent Communication" which came into fashion in the late 20th century, and is often pushed upon children who are identified in education as having communication problems (or general 'difficult behaviour' kids).

It includes heavy emphasis on pressuring the child into speaking like this as a default mode of communication - anything else is actively discouraged and/or outright punished as 'bad' communication.

You may encounter people who have had NVC inflicted on them in the past, and avoid engaging in that speech style for that reason.

(We are among that number, which is part of why I mention it, to avoid potential for future misunderstanding)

@typhlosion I would've voted pine marten, but brain happened and forgot to

badgers & skunks are v good mustelid picks also

@hokaze@queer.af 💪✨!

@bentosmile @noiob Yeah, I am constantly hovering over the volume button in most media.. Sensory stuff + verbal processing stuff makes this a v. frustrating trend, people whispering a lot and then stuff that's nowhere near as vital to the plot suddenly 4x as loud x.x

I should look into a speaker setup which moderates dynamic range, I wasn't aware that was a thing! 👍

@Lioness I really like this topic.. =w= It's full of chewy concepts and design space