Pastelbat @pastelbat@awoo.space

@Doggo (thankyou for the info!)

@Doggo Also I feel like there're notably different types of pain, like.. Flavours, almost? Which can be incapacitating in very different ways, and during periods that don't always map to "high-intensity of pain in the immediate moment".

Like, longterm nagging locational pain, or fog of general pain, muscle pain vs joint pain vs bone pain, etc.. It's like.. Yeah. Taste, or emotion, or colour.. There are more axis than "how intense is it", and that vmuch adds to my confusion

@Doggo Yeah, I absolutely relate to that. I find quantifying pain when asked extremely.. "That's a weird, open-to-interpretation, changes frequently kinda question I have no metric to judge by"

And so my often brain throws an error message and freezes up attempting to =V

@Doggo ah, interesting. thankyou for explaining! (I mean, 'bad' but.. I take both and don't get this, so 'find the comparative experiences interesting').

What sort of high? I'd like to be able to self-monitor for whether I am getting it and either dissociating or in a milder form- I suspect not, but. Data is good. No pressure to describe a v. qualitative/weird internal headstate tho, I know how.. Hard that can be. xP

I hope the joint creams work out better for you.

This isn't me trying to.. Scare you off them, at all, fwiw. Just um.. Providing my experience/common side effects of common NHS pain meds.

But what side-effects you get and to what degree, and how they balance out vs your pain in terms of impact on yr life.. That's verymuch an individual thing, and an individual decision. It's not something I'd try or wish to to impose my own experiences and decisions upon.

@Doggo ah, crap, howcome re CBD? :(

Fwiw I found the fatigue part.. On opioids I had brainfog and fatigue, and was like

"Welp, if I'm gonna be wondering around in a foggy state of fatigue and loss of cognition anyway, it may as well be from the pain than a constant from the meds. And I do miss having an intact/functional gastrointestinal system"

But you may have a different impact of side-effects, and there are non-opioid pain treatments. Just most of the meds you'll be prescribed for chronic pain are opioid based in some form.

Fuck Buttons' music is one of those weird experiences where I really like it a lot, but it's also absolutely Sensory Overload territory for me.

So like. Carefully selecting when to listen to it has interesting effects on my brain.

Playing 'Lumines: Electronic Symphony' on the Vita also has induced this feeling, and some of the more experimental/harsh-audiovisual levels of Pixeljunk Eden (many in Encore mode)

@Doggo A lot of this depends on what goals you want out of them, how your body reacts to the meds/family-of-meds in question, and what tradeoffs you're prepared to make in terms of side-effects and their impact on yr life.

I do need new music to listen to tho..

I haven't poked around for new artists/albums in a while

Alive 2007 is such a powerful joyful album

Daft Punk remixing their own stuff together, merging tracks to give them a whole new lease of life

Why we don't just fix the whole energy crisis by running the entire power grid off the soul of Yui Ikari I really don't know

The Eva rebuilds are best approached as a fine vintage of the "Crackfic given an inexplicably huge budget" genre

They build up from "1.X wasn't bad as a redo of the first arcs I guess? I don't get the fanfare."
to
"Okay, Asuka's giant robot mom turned into a leopard. Now the leopard is tearing up a Final Fantasy whale-zeppelin powered by the soul of Yui Ikari."

GDPRvangelion 2.0:
You Can (Not) Advance Without Agreeing To Our Terms

@jenbug@glitch.social @Doggo this is my understanding/experience also. Doing so will also (depending on depth) reduce the feeling of the crack. Might make it less visible or more visible (this seems to depend on whether it forms an air bubble around the crack I think).

@variance II'll poke around online!

I hope you manage to get some sleep soon.

@variance Also it's 5:40am over here and I'm *still* in "Do all the things?!?!" hyperactive-brain mode, so.. Vmuch relate to you in the immediate as well ><

@variance Is this an ADHD thing as well?

I get this to the point that my sleep pattern is in pmuch constant flux, which makes dealing with the rest of the world funtimes, and is a pmuch carousel of mediocre sedatives/hypnotics.

Buuuut I'd always put it down to Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (which is known to cause latenight adrenaline surges and sleep pattern weirdness/insomnia/etc). But I also have ADHD, so.. Curious!

I'm rlly proud of how the music for this project came out! Amelia's animation work is amazing, so I was really happy to contribute.

Also it being my first collaboration project in years, and the first ever where I was responsible for the musical component.. Yeah, I'm happy.

There's stuff I'd like to improve on that I spotted during it; I wanna get better at mixing different emotions in a piece
more variation in rhythms
being more confident working with melodies

But like, that's "to improve" rather than "ughhh I messed up" feelin'.

Really happy with the engine-come-bassline, the drumbeat & the guitars.

The overall feel started off early as "Oh wow this went Fuck Buttons style wall of noise real fast" as a kinda happy-accident with just the chords/drums/bassline, and made it feel ominous and forboding.

Also meant I had to be careful layering the melody over it without crowding the composition too much..! So went with a slower choral line rather than the aggressive violins I'd originally envisioned for it, which was the right call I think.