@shel not a problem externally sure. i don't think anyone i have a crush on even knows

it goes hard on my emotional health though

@typhlosion oooff yes

@Fuego i figure it's like tearing off a bandage rather than pulling it off slow; it hurts a lot now but doesn't prolong the process

expecting those feelings to go anywhere, to extend the metaphor, feels like hoping for the bandage to fuse to my skin and give me a tough layer of armor. that is to say it's silly and will not happen

@typhlosion okay, but like if you're going to pull any bandaid off, why not pull the one where you voice your feelings to the person and see how they react? If they reject you sure, try to ditch those feelings, but don't assume they will!

@Fuego in general i'd rather stow unnecessary risk for the sake of an established friendship than open the potential to make everything awkward and strained if the feelings aren't reciprocated

plus my feelings often fluctuate enough that i worry even if they are reciprocated i won't feel the same way later on and i'll risk causing hurt

@typhlosion revealing feelings in a thoughtful way doesn't have to end a friendship... For me at least its a way of keeping the friendship going better - pushing down feelings like that makes me a little resentful?

@Fuego i'm not sure it's possible to resent myself any more than i already do

@Fuego @typhlosion That's what negotiation and trust are for. And they're hard, I grant you, but they're worth it.

@typhlosion you're a good campstove badger an soff and people love you!

@typhlosion @Fuego You are a sof fren. If it goes well, we'll celebrate together. If it goes poorly, we'll commiserate with you. Either way, the roiling stew of uncertainty can resolve and the healing or happiness can begin.

@typhlosion I didnt even say u were smol this time!