Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

Ahh, what the hell. I'm in a good mood and protected by the cover of night. ​

Ask me anything, even the awkward stuff. The only rules are:

1) If it's awkward, I reserve the right to answer in DMs.
2) If it's REALLY awkward, I reserve the right to lie! (I will caption such replies.)
3) Nothing deliberately cruel.
4) I end the queue when I feel like it.
5) PLEASE no inquiries pertaining to the Central Asian steel industry between 1997 & 2001. THIS IS FOR YOUR SAFETY AS WELL AS MINE.

@Leucrotta Hmm, this could work for Cibo Matto, too...

@spacewastrel@yiff.life Oh my god. Best of luck to all of you. *HUG* Do please keep us posted.

@Phorm I had a crew of 3-4 Backyard Friends who I could see through my window when I lived at Transliminal. Sometimes they'd come as close as the tree branch right outside my window and they'd let me watch them for 20-30 minutes. I miss them. They reminded me a lot of me and gave me a lot of comfort in my final days there. I hope they've had good little lives.

Also, I really gotta get back to the Audubon Zoo and take photos of the horde of fat, happy, clean, healthy raccoons they've got there. Peg and I keep joking that we should check with our friend who works there and see if we can donate to a mechanical puzzle fund for 'em. :)

@hummingrain Beeeen there. *hug*

@Phorm And a bunch of people who love you, and a devastating intellect and imagination. And a hug from a filthy trash panda. *HUG*

@JulieSqveakaroo Dang, roo! If I ever need recruits for a skyscraper heist, I know who to call!

@JulieSqveakaroo Oh, that's pretty good. I might wanna get a chorus together in time for Krewe of Rex for that one. :D

ok folks this is all hands memetic emergency

i need something devastatingly cruel to yell at stands of trump-flag waves at a mardi gras parade. kindly avoid stuff that would only feel like a burn to a trump hater. it has be to be concise and it has to BURN

ty all ♥️

@hystericempress lol that describes my ex's old circle of Bellevue libertarian trekkie filker nerds perfectly

@typhlosion Yup! I've shut down a LOT of arguments with right-wingers with that one. :D

@typhlosion There's a _reason_ the phrase "disabled libertarian" only gets 350 hits in a Google search... and if you filter out two people, it goes down to 44.

https://www.google.com/search?q=%22disabled+libertarian%22+-ziggy+-encaoua+-caleb+-shumate+-%22nobody%27s+victim%22&rlz=1C1CHBD_enUS873US881&ei=fDtQXqunJI64sgXNrI2YBw&start=40&sa=N&ved=2ahUKEwir1cf9u-PnAhUOnKwKHU1WA3M4HhDy0wN6BAgLEDQ&biw=1304&bih=648

@Aradia *expectant paw gesture*

Yes?

*waits*

Except...?

#BelieveItOrNot
#TheAnswerISeekIsNotFoxes

I'm a terrible excuse for a raccoon.

You see, except for chronic and systemic ones, I'm really terrible at keeping my pet diseases. They just keep dying on me. I've basically got what my people call a "red-crossed thumb."

But one of these days, one of my microscopic friends will finally stick around with me to the end, and I will join my siblings in the Great Rubbish Bin In The Sky.

Haha, no, just kidding. Nobody would bother making an afterlife for crazy opportunists like us, and if they did, we wouldn't take orders well enough to qualify. We'd probably just steal St. Peter's keys, sneak into all the other afterlives, and steal food from everybody in Canid Heaven.

From 48 Hrs's wiki. Truth in advertising: it was indeed pretty Gross. Everything in the whole film involving women was just Gross.

But first, a little preparatory viewing. (I'm raising a glass to you here, @Valerie_Elysee. <3 )

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2Zy8MHGSjM

"It's not where you're going that counts, it's who the hell's in back of you."

OK, if the trailer is any indication, Smokey and the Bandit might be a relative source of wisdom, 'cause that's actually pretty good advice.

I'm gonna give it a shot. It's got a cute basset hound and it hates cops as much as we do, what could go wrong?

@001zlnv If the things I've been saying had applied to WFRR, it would have been a very different film. :O

And probably directed by Ralph Bakshi. 😱​

Almost done.

Yes, Eddie, women love all of... whatever the hell that just was that you did and said. Didn't you physically return this woman to the bar like a suddenly unwanted gas station sandwich, not 40 minutes ago?

Also, I should have timed the exact length of the Miraculous And Highly Believable Conversion Of Cop To Apparently Tolerable Levels Of Racism, but I'm pretty sure it was <120 seconds total.

This is why I do this, kids. This is the first it's felt good to live in 2020 in quite a long time. (Haha, that's a lie--I watch She-Ra and follow queer vixens on Masto and stuff. <3 )