Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@Phorm @xinjinmeng Yeah, but Rarity makes a great Maddie Khan <3

@xinjinmeng @Phorm part 2

@xinjinmeng @Phorm and finally, a two-parter for you steven soderbergh fans

@xinjinmeng @Phorm i'm almost done, I promise

@xinjinmeng @Phorm this is hours of family fun

@xinjinmeng @Phorm

@Phorm @Djinnanigans@dragon.style Oh, man, if only Kincaid were still around. She LOVED Klein bottles. ;__~

@Phorm @Djinnanigans@dragon.style rez is now frantically trying to work out where the fuck she can find a bottle big enough to hold a martian...

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/188447565639652133/?nic_v1=1aj5OcOKL9DYaFc%2FX3iNTHiaMW2n5CZjuD4O%2F7Z%2Bmz9trFfdFY6LwfdXO1%2B0aygLs%2B

@Phorm (just by getting that reference you're halfway there...)

@Phorm [🐯] Yes, but I'm afraid that due to the large ​exodus of Terran nationals, we have imposed a very rigorous immigration test.

*sets four fried chickens and a Coke in front of you*

Have at it. You will be scored on speed, efficiency, style, and decibel volume.

This has been a very "hush, the grownups are talking" kind of day over on Birdsite.

Also, stay the fuck home if you can, don't go to a fucking bar, and wash your fucking hands.

(I'm a mild hypocrite since I was at cafes all day yesterday, but they were sparsely populated and we all scrupulously kept 15+ feet apart from each other--unlike the hordes of idiots swarming the local beer garden last night. >____< )

@joshua So obviously, get a friend to buy you a dog treat. But only if you're good.

@joshua No, but only because if it was OK to give YOURSELF a dog treat it would totally ruin the canine economy as we know it. Dogs everywhere would be clamoring for pockets so they can carry money, and then where the hell would we be?!

@Leucrotta (also, man, you really get the Uranians like nobody else could <3 )

@Leucrotta It's good to know _someone_ is keeping that particular planetary faith.

@Momentrabbit *big tiger grin* "You heard me." 🐯​

"Huh."

NEPTUNIANS: *gather on a moonlit beach with a dozen of their closest friends and lovers, skinnydipping and pondering the mystical interconnectedness of all things while they all hold adorable webbed paws*

MARTIANS: *check the coast to make sure they're alone, sneak into a cave, pull out a grocery bag with an entire rotisserie chicken and double-fist it in 90 seconds, then belch and ponder how _nice_ it is to be an apex predator*

Seriously, you small mammals really don't know what you're missing. The glow of cosmic enlightenment is fleeting, but the glow of a whole chicken can last for hours. *licks broth and fat off her murder mittens* 🐯​

I have tried to cut down on bragging about my social media hijinx, but I was particularly proud of this one.

Some climate denialist had smarted off to a critic with a line like "why don't YOU PEOPLE ever cite your sources?"

So I looked up the chart he was using as his source, tracked it down to another denialist blog, found out it was a Denialist Factoid Du Jour, and found a climatology blog that explained the whole thing was based on a minor difference of definition and proved NOTHING.

And I replied to him with the corrected chart and its sources, on a thread with 50 people watching it.

I feel like I just gave the bastard a pile driver. It felt so good.

@JulieSqveakaroo @Phorm I had a hunch and started hoarding early. Specifically, I saw that our local bars all had coronavirus-themed chalkboard signs outside and a mental alarm went off... Now we have SO MANY CANS OF BEANS.