Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

We may now also celebrate the triumphant return of Prince Shempington Shompmondeley the Shempty-Shompth to the Imperial Domain Of Empress Shadow!

His Highness graciously accepted scritch and fishy treat from his humble servants.

@kobi_lacroix Which is Alex Hirsch?

Which is one is Alex Rieger from Taxi?

Which one was Alex Trebek?

I feel this is an important line of research you've opened here.

THEY'RE BACK <3 <3 <3

Apparently they were all dropped off from the spay/neuter clinic this morning and we missed the text. Everyone's accounted for and visible OK (if a little skittish) but Shemp and they did say they returned four cats so I assume poor guy's just napping it off somewhere and we'll see him soon.

I'm so relieved. And except for a slight misappropriated poopie, Sugarfoot and the kittens seem to be doing great? So all is well enough in Catville today.

And of course I worry with every waking moment that I'm doing something horribly wrong with the kittens -- some part of their litter training, missing something in the kittenproofing, something I should be doing for their health...

But they look so damn robust. And that feels really good. Maybe we'll actually get through this. Only four to six weeks to go, then they'll be ready to adopt out.

I'll hate to see them go, but I'll also be really relieved. We can't have two indoor cats AND six outdoor ones. And this is a much better life for them than leaving them out on the street. The others are used to it, they'll be fine, but maybe we can do better for Liv and Snowy.

Or something terrible will happen and my heart will be completely broken like I've been braced for from the moment I met these friggin' cats. I dunno. Being me is being ready for the blow at every... single... moment... and honestly having porch cat friends, let alone "pets," is kind of a fucking nightmare for me.

But damn it, I love them so much. And that scares the shit out of me.

Meanwhile, everybody else except for CJ (who adamantly refused to go into any carrier) is off at the trap/neuter/release charity.

And I am worried out of my wits for them. And I know this is ridiculous. I've been looking over the surgery success rates... constantly... for days... and they're really high. All my horrible visions are of things like a car accident or a carrier escape in a bad place.

I guess I just miss the little bastards, too, and still worry they're not going to trust us afterwards. And I worry about CJ all alone out there tonight.

I'm okay, but I won't be completely okay until everybody's home and safe plus maybe an extra week.

(apologies for grody old socks, it's been a rough day and it's not worth wearing anything nice through the Kittenarium...)

"Liv? Snowy? My name is AUNTIE Tigress. Not MOUNT Tigress. No climbing."

I spent my teenage years absolutely convinced I had Charlie Brown karma.

I spent my twenties absolutely convinced I had Linus karma.

I spent my thirties absolutely convinced I had Snooy karma.

I think I'm going to spent most of my fortiest wondering if I might not actually have Lucy karma.

I do REALLY enjoy pulling the football away from my "debate partners" no matter how many times the same scenario plays out.

#moodsnapshot
#lotsofscreaming
#implicituspol
#blonderedhead
#possiblysomeevilmortyvibes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ic3bhIGtaog&t=2078s

...

This might be a good era to attempt watching Until The End of the World again. It could be a Big Mood.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Until_the_End_of_the_World

@Balina I don't think you can! She'd just drink the brine straight out of a jar of peppers.

I wonder if anybody ever stops and wonders what became of me, the same way I stop and wonder what became of some of the people who ran my old online hangouts?

I confess I've done a vanity search or two for "postfurry" lately. I was surprised by how much I didn't cringe at the results. There's still a reference to it every now and then by people I've never met, and that's nice to think about.

I keep thinking I should tell more stories about the DScream, Puzzlebox, and 12Fold. I'm getting to the age where yeah, maybe I do wanna think about a legacy, and I'm less and less confident that Parallax is gonna be finished in our lifetime...

So yesterday I was joking around that I'm immune to elemental damage from garlic, anchovies, and peppers except for my right heel, because that's how my mom dipped me in the baptismal bagna cauda...

...and I sent a screen shot of it to my mom.

Apparently, she drank bottle after bottle of banana pepper juiice when she was pregnant with me. It was her main craving.

I don't care if this would actually have the faintest biological effect on a fetus or their capsaicin tolerance whatsoever. I'm adding that to my personal mythology RIGHT now.

Given I maxxed out the heat scale at the local Thai place last night, I think I've earned it.

@kistaro Me, I am nearly full-blooded Italian and thus immune to all damage on the Garlic Table (except my right heel of course, which mom used to dip me in the baptismal bagna cauda). But this is still some very sage advice.

@anthracite No, no. CJ is not a gatekeeper. Like Lord Ivo Shempington of Gh'en'xois, he is a keymaster. (and yeah i got the total number of CATGATES wrong, s/b 3 out of 4 :) )

(Sugarfoot, the Fifth Cat Gate, is currently still in a luxurious imperial prison befitting a princess of her stature. She and the mewlets seem pretty chill today despite all the whining Shemp was doing from the next room. She shall have her portal closed, alongside her heirs, in about 3-4 weeks. She would like you, her subjects to all know: "Mew.")

IN THE FINAL DAYS OF THE ACCURSED YEAR 2020, SO THE LEGENDS SAY, TWO LOWLY BEASTPEOPLE EMBARKED ON A MISSION TO SAVE OUR WORLD.

HAVING CLOSED FOUR OF THE FIVE CATGATES TO THE DIMENSION OF CATSTORM, THE VALIANT ONES KNOWN AS "THE STRIPEY" AND "THE SCALEY" AVERTED THE CATPOCALYPSE AND BROUGHT PEACE TO THE 500 - 600 BLOCK OF [REDACTED], MIDCITY NEW ORLEANS.

TODAY THE IMPERIAL DOMAIN OF SHADOW THE FEISTY LIVES ON IN PEACE AND PROSPERITY THANKS TO THESE UNKNOWN COURIERS OF THE GODS. ALL PRAISE MIGHTY BAST AND SEKHMET. ALL PRAISE SAINT HOBBES THE FLUFFY.

Now then. Premature celebrations all around! I'm ordering jerk chicken from down the street ffs.

@anthracite i think that's part of bast's boon -- we were given some EXERCISE to keep us strong through this civilizational-scale mess -- "hmmm, you two are gettin a little spiritually (and physically) pudgy"

oh god are we being taken for cosmic walkies D: D: D:

one nice thing: once the kittens are raised and adopted and everybody's been safely snipped and recovered... if i can actually get back to some semblance of my old slacker schedule... it's gonna seem SO CUSHY compared to this

nobody in midcity would mind just a LITTLE public screaming, right?

i mean, it's new orleans. it's a cosmopolitan town. they're hip to the whole random stress-scream scene, right?

^_______^;;