Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

ｂｌｕｅ ｃｉｔｉｚｅｎｓ
ｐｌｅａｓｅ ｂｅ ａｄｖｉｓｅｄ
ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ａ ｃｏｌｏｒ

say what you will about south park -- and i'll probably agree with you -- but the "fish dicks" episode is basically a spot for spot tour guide of the orange monster's personality

it's almost impossible not to think of djt as i watch cartman totally ignore stan's futile attempt to show him what a narcissist he is... and then turn right around and use the EXACT SAME SPEECH to accuse jimmy of being a narcissist, somehow experiencing zero self-awareness in the whole process

it's... it's him. it's djt. they model that personality type and its dangers perfectly. i can't imagine how much good these fuckers could have done if they'd been on our side and not been such handwringing pseudocentrist fuckwads. sigh.

@Austin_Dern This is also putting me in mind of some really, really perverse hypnosis and amnesia-induction scenes you could perform on a multi-headed being...

"But... but we've always been a six-headed hydra!"

"HEY!"

"I guess I can try counting again."

"HEY!"

"One... two... three... four... five... five... six..."

"YOU SAID FIVE TWICE! SNAP OUT OF IT! DAMMIT, I'M JUST ONE HEAD OVER FROM YOU! I BRUSHED YOUR TEETH FOR YOU THIS MORNING!"

@Austin_Dern "We are still speculating on the existence of our hypothetical recessive and introverted Sixth Head, or as our Head of R&D has nicknamed it, 'Flutterhead.'"

The kittens have reached an important new milestone: Snowy has learned how to GROWL.

Specifically, Snowy has learned to express extreme displeasure (to scale) at the idea of anybody -- whether that be Olivia, Mom, Aunt Tiger, or Basic Fucking Newtonian Physics -- taking their fishy toy away.

I am afraid of Snowy (to scale).

@hystericempress i mean haven't; the Blaseball Gods already threatened a flootball and blasketball someday if we're really good?

This is just to "at" @PennyPennyPenny

I have archived
the kittens
that were in
my mainframe

and which
you were probably
replicating
for unknown reasons

Forgive me
they were exponentiating
so recursive
and so loud

“I divide my officers into four groups. There are clever, diligent, stupid, and lazy officers. Usually two characteristics are combined. Some are clever and diligent — their place is the General Staff. The next lot are stupid and lazy — they make up 90% of every army and are suited to routine duties. Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the intellectual clarity and the composure necessary for difficult decisions. One must beware of anyone who is stupid and diligent — he must not be entrusted with any responsibility because he will always cause only mischief.”

-General Kurt von Hammerstein-Equord

Note that this man was a tireless political opponent of Adolf HItler, so he knew a few things about how dangerous "stupid but diligent" people could get...

This is still just my favorite thing ever. So just on the off chance I can persuade someone new to give it a shot...

Wham City's "This House Has People In It," 12-minute surrealist horror-comedy short about a series of inexplicable reality-bending events happening to a suburban family in the midst of an elusive pandemic.

broad-spectrum CW, including a surreal family crisis with a lot of shouting, but there's zero gore or jump-scare and neglgible violence, and i don't think i'd call the family abusive -- just suffering the results of a direct attack on their psyches and stuck in bizarre, non-functional behaviors

ngl, it's not the easiest watch and it actively resists interpretation, but there's such a beautiful rabbit hole under it all if you take the time to look...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-pj8OtyO2I

and if you actually somehow want more of that, here's the entire content of the video archive you get from solving all the ARG material in the original, over two hours of vital self-care advice that could someday save YOU from the tragedy of lynks disease (which is really just a big ol' metaphor for apophenia and pattern-seeking behavior, which is why i love THHPII as a gonzo philosophical treatise...)

oh thank the cat gods, sugarfoot's heat seems to be calming down

i actually scritched her butt for three seconds without her completely losing her dignity *smirk*

Today's cat stress: the kittens accidentally clawed up my hand pretty good and now I'm sitting here worrying about catching bartonella or something.

I got most of the scratches pretty fast with soap and neosporin. And, I mean, they're kitten-sized and not especially deep.

But I missed one for about an hour and even though I know the odds are good for such tiny scratches, I can't stop fixating on the idea they're going to get infected.

And I'm not, dammit, I'm not going to say "...because it's 2020." But yeah, definitely because it would be One More Damn Thing and that's how this seems to work.

(Everything else is actually pretty good today. :) )

@Leucrotta I'll bet his crew is culturally illiterate enough that it'd be easy to slip that one past them for a public ceremony, a la "Four Seasons"...

@Oneironott oh dang, you really got me there, 'cause the fog is one of the main things i really miss about seattle (other than the people). we get it very rarely around here -- although i will say that the 1-2 hours before hurricanes have been some of the most eerily beautiful weather i've ever seen, almost haunted -- especially when the wires start "singing," apparently...

(Also anyone who is justly indignant over the above teasing might be pleased to hear I got my stupid stripey ass SOAKED in a heavy tropical rain earlier today. XD )

"What is this 'snow' you speak of? The word sounds familiar, but I haven't heard it in so long... Isn't it a food, or perhaps... some type of wood? I recall there were a lot of both up there..."

(You'll get your revenge next May through November, I'm sure...)

@Oneironott oh yikes, what's going on up there?

we're just WET AS FUCK down here -- earlier today i made the mistake of going out in the rain and literally saying "I came here from Seattle, FFS, I'll be fine!"

that was a mistake. new orleans is not seattle. i was a wet sad kittymonster. :)

@Phorm i mean as far as i know morbo has never offered the faintest bit of ill will towards any martian, so i'm fine with the guy personally

@Phorm I would watch a newscast that was just you and Morbo EVERY SINGLE DAY

"please don't touch my titties while you're talking about jowl cleavage"

@chimerror i'm sorry, i am COMPELLED to link to this every time the Wu Tang gets name checked

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cgdHzD2T1U

but i heartily agree that the clan of wu tang are not any thing with which to fuck *nod*