Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@JulieSqveakaroo *dons Mr. Flibble puppet and aims hex vision in the direction of your coworkers*

shit, is it too late to change one of my answers to john mulaney?

i'm a big fan of his work but more importantly he really looks like a man who wouldn't know how to follow through on a punch

i mean i respect that, that's me, but i also like my nasal cartilage

@arilin Seriously. I am blown away that people are still using Fuzzball in 2020. This is, what, thirty year old technology? I was only briefly on f-list but I can't imagine it's aged much better...

@arilin That's exactly how I feel peeking in on Tapestries these days. *nod* It's like some kind of Final Age came upon us, and the mana cost of RP just became too much for anyone to pay. I never seriously thought I'd see textplay go out of style.

it's kind of comforting to hear testimonials that david cronenberg is a really nice guy and very canadian

i can't help thinking body horror has got to be a really therapeutic career sometimes

also, the topic of people wanting to get punched by aubrey plaza came up in a review of black bear, and you know, i never really thought of it before then... and i don't actually WANT to be punched by anybody... but yeah, yanno, if i had to be punched by a celebrity but could choose who did it, aubrey plaza is probably top 10 material

now i'm curious who the other 9 would be.

let's see. andy dick, mostly because he looks like a weakling and i'd then have a sound legal premise for hurting andy dick

amy sedaris, but only if she pretended to be princess carolyn. i refuse to explain this one further. you shut up. >_>;

conan o'brien. he really seems like the kind of guy who'd pull a punch.

h jon benjamin because always he has that sad look in his eyes that would probably be really comforting right after being punched

fred schneider. the reason why is left as an exercise for the student. show your work.

vanessa briscoe-hay of the band "pylon": i just really like her plus she's a 60-something retired RN now so she probably wouldn't hit very hard and she'd know how to do first aid, plus chomp is the greatest album in history

william jackson harper: Everything else about that man is sexy and charming, so I imagine getting punched by him would be no different. Also he was Danny Rebus. I feel that's relevant somehow.

pam poovey: i don't know how this would work since she's a fictional character and being punched by amber nash just wouldn't cut it, but there ya go, here she is. hail pam.

strong bad: i mean, if we're gonna go off the rails let's go off the rails, although come to think of it homestar would probably be a wiser choice because he doesn't have any arms

ok yeah, black bear is also really good

feels like last year at marienbad remade by slackers

or a charlie kaufman movie that finally quit dicking around

current mood:

"operation mayhem" only really girly and much less concerned about whether we kill people and instead of a fight club we actually fucking talk to each other

@anthracite i'm so glad you included the umlaut, because otherwise i would think you meant boards of canada and i'd be heartbroken to find out it was just a goddamn prog band (j/k, i like böc just fine)

@anthracite wait, i don't recognize that interior or cup -- is that the new French Truck up by Rouse's?

@Aradia @SangriaSnake "hey fox, has anyone told you your nosie looks like a consummate V?"

Still worried about Sugarfoot and the kids off at Snip Camp. But their surgery was scheduled for today. I suspect their vet volunteer works 9 - 5 like normal people and this isn't some kind of late-night 4 am affair in a warehouse somewhere... And I also suspect they would inform us if anything went wrong. So it's 3 pm now and I'm a lot _less_ worried.

Still. I'll be happier when they're back here, inside, warm, and safe.

i just watched one of the greatest heel-face turns i've ever seen, and it's such a spoiler i can't even tell you who it was or what show it was on...

Her Imperial Majesty Shadow is curled up next to me and rubbing her cheeks against my hand. She'd been so aloof since she and Sugarfoot had their kittens, it's like having the Queen of England sit down at your table and chat.

this is a good article

https://www.texasmonthly.com/interactive/the-ultimate-texas-tacopedia/

"...like one of your french girls"

artie and peebs are making this so much easier tonight

peg had peebs in her lap and i had artie in mine -- and then they switched places on us and resumed snuggling in the opposite laps

and while i'm still fretful over the kittens, my heart is basically healed 😻​

@Phorm YES EXACTLY

artie and peebs are having a very sporting and gentle sisterly spat out next to me

i was narrating it with "ROUND TWO... FIGHT" and "PEEBLES WINS: TOTAL FLOMP!" and whatnot

and now i really want a fighting game where you're just selecting from a large litter of kittens walloping and nipping at each other, and all of the moves are adorably futile like "put own butt in own face," "spin around four times for no particular reason," "drop toy vaguely near opponent," "attack completely uninvolved kitten," "stand momentarily on opponent's face," and "fall asleep."

i miss the hell out of the kittens but it is super weird after 10 weeks to be able to not plan my entire evening's activities around when they will be asleep and it's thus safe to cross Cat River without flooding the adjacent rooms with cats