Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

and yeah, to follow through on the laika bit, i thought about it and for some reason an assassin armed with a _discreet_ implement of death doesn't trigger the same reaction. i don't think i'd react the same to, say, a femme fatale noir fluttershy poisoning someone, or rainbow dash shoving a trenchcoated octavia off a bridge in downtown Bridleslava at 2 am

and i guess i did have one paramilitary character, but he didn't go much of anywhere, and he was an otter modeled after Subcomandante Marcos of the Chiapas Rebellion so i mean shame on those who would think ill of it... Arjuna was really more the "get shot at on the barricades and not care" type than the "shoot at" type anyhow.

whether arjuna was, like the good subcomandante claims in RL about him, just a hologram all along remains to be determined. it sure would explain how his plushie version ends up in such weird places.

@Phorm I know EXACTLY who you're talking about, and yeah, that's the one. Seems like a nice enough guy and, hey, I put up with Rik's military fetish for 15 years (though to be fair, Rik "likes" military imagery the same way I "like" Elder Gods, body horror, and parasitic wasps: morbid awe). But yeah, feels like it's indulging something that the Mane Six and their personalities were intentionally written to NOT represent...

@Phorm i mean given i am currently trying to revive rot13 as a way of sneaking sedition under twitter's radar <3

your kink is still ok but personally i am so weary of seeing anthro my little ponies with firearms

honestly i just feel a little weary any time i see any armed furry

this is not meant to be normative in the least; i have friends with absolutely delightful ex-mil characters and i'm not even that anti-gun in rl

it's a purely hindbrain-level aesthetic reaction and not a moral or objective judgment at all

but come to think of it, i don't think i've ever played a single soldier character, ever, that i can recall

(rez makes a big display of being a conquering empress but really a martian invasion is more just like "your goofy cousin shows up with a ton of sushi, occupies your house for four days, drinks all your booze and eats all your catnip, and goes home." the main volume of martian military doctrine is "the tiger who came to tea.")

(oh and noelle likes to dress up in rainbow pastel camouflage and run around with a paint gun making things pretty against their will, but i don't think that really counts either)

(okay and maybe laika [REDACTED] four mi-6 agents [REDACTED] bratislava [REDACTED] piano wire but come on who hasn't done a little wetwork here and there)

(ok maybe i don't have any room to judge but it's still fucking weird and dissonant seeing rarity with an mp5)

*drowns in mewling, hopping, bapping, ricocheting kittens*

"Oh, yeah. That's the stuff."

OK, it's been a weird week and I could use a little ego scritching (or affectionate teasing) from someone who's not Peggy. (She's so good at it, but's like eating red beans and beignets for every single meal, yanno? ⚜️​❤️​)

So let's do that meme I've been seeing on Birdsite: describe me in one word. You are not obliged to be excessively nice nor brutally honest.

@Austin_Dern I could almost see going for some Rosemary Toast Crunch, but it would probably have to be under some shrimp and gravy.

"The art of manipulating cats to do what you want without physical intervention, or to use the Sanskrit term, catyagraha..."

@Austin_Dern "Fenugreek Toast Crunch!?! Who would even buy that?!"

Everybody's home and back in the kittenarium, apparently none the worse for wear. There was a little bit of stress pooping and they're still a little skittish, but they're enjoying some wet food and their room is quiet except for the usual curious kitten squeaks.

I'm so relieved. Meanwhile, Shadow is next to me being a clingy little love​panther. 😻 I told her "I think I know what that means... and you're welcome. You've all been (mostly) a joy to have around."

the kids are apparently fine after their snippage and should be home in an hour or so!

@JulieSqveakaroo *dons Mr. Flibble puppet and aims hex vision in the direction of your coworkers*

shit, is it too late to change one of my answers to john mulaney?

i'm a big fan of his work but more importantly he really looks like a man who wouldn't know how to follow through on a punch

i mean i respect that, that's me, but i also like my nasal cartilage

@arilin Seriously. I am blown away that people are still using Fuzzball in 2020. This is, what, thirty year old technology? I was only briefly on f-list but I can't imagine it's aged much better...

@arilin That's exactly how I feel peeking in on Tapestries these days. *nod* It's like some kind of Final Age came upon us, and the mana cost of RP just became too much for anyone to pay. I never seriously thought I'd see textplay go out of style.

it's kind of comforting to hear testimonials that david cronenberg is a really nice guy and very canadian

i can't help thinking body horror has got to be a really therapeutic career sometimes

also, the topic of people wanting to get punched by aubrey plaza came up in a review of black bear, and you know, i never really thought of it before then... and i don't actually WANT to be punched by anybody... but yeah, yanno, if i had to be punched by a celebrity but could choose who did it, aubrey plaza is probably top 10 material

now i'm curious who the other 9 would be.

let's see. andy dick, mostly because he looks like a weakling and i'd then have a sound legal premise for hurting andy dick

amy sedaris, but only if she pretended to be princess carolyn. i refuse to explain this one further. you shut up. >_>;

conan o'brien. he really seems like the kind of guy who'd pull a punch.

h jon benjamin because always he has that sad look in his eyes that would probably be really comforting right after being punched

fred schneider. the reason why is left as an exercise for the student. show your work.

vanessa briscoe-hay of the band "pylon": i just really like her plus she's a 60-something retired RN now so she probably wouldn't hit very hard and she'd know how to do first aid, plus chomp is the greatest album in history

william jackson harper: Everything else about that man is sexy and charming, so I imagine getting punched by him would be no different. Also he was Danny Rebus. I feel that's relevant somehow.

pam poovey: i don't know how this would work since she's a fictional character and being punched by amber nash just wouldn't cut it, but there ya go, here she is. hail pam.

strong bad: i mean, if we're gonna go off the rails let's go off the rails, although come to think of it homestar would probably be a wiser choice because he doesn't have any arms

ok yeah, black bear is also really good

feels like last year at marienbad remade by slackers

or a charlie kaufman movie that finally quit dicking around

current mood:

"operation mayhem" only really girly and much less concerned about whether we kill people and instead of a fight club we actually fucking talk to each other