Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@JulieSqveakaroo I'd love to run the whole thing by you again, though, since you're someone whose opinion I trust about both engineering AND kitties: medium-large plastic dog crate, holes covered in a folded blanket and waterproofed with two trash bags duct taped in place, latched to the porch rails so it's facing away from the wind, then a layer of shredded woodchip bedding, some swaddling blankets, and an insulted pod-shaped cat bed. Does that sound like it'd be enough?

@chimerror oh yikes! *puts on kevlar glove--because he KNOWS cats dammit--and scriffles your chin*

whew that was a close one, i KNOW that look O_o;

@KinkyTurtle *hugs and sympathizes in rot 26* <3

OK. It took a LOT of persuading, petting, and letting her come and go like eight times -- and then a final moment of parental authority, where I just flat refused to open the door for her -- but Peebles has FINALLY been persuaded that anything that happens in the apartment, scary noises or not, is gonna be a better deal than she gets outside in the cold. Last I checked, she was napping comfortably next to Artie.

And CJ was nestled up pretty tight in the shelter, which I REALLY hope is warm enough.

@Phorm @anthracite It's fine. The urge to ship anything Mane Six related is virtually reflexive in us Equestria Syndrome survivors. :D <3

Peebles DESPERATELY wanted to go outside, even though it's 36 freakin degrees out. It was starting to feel like a consent issue, so I VERY reluctantly let her outside. At least that encourages me that it's not THAT rough out there for them, not yet. I just really hope we can lure her back in before it freezes.

One thing in favor of the laissez faire approach, though? Heh, she found Ceejay. He's now safely snuggled in the shelter. I was hoping she just had that one sacred mission and would come right back in, but... honestly, I have no idea if she has Cat Business left to do out there, is just sick of her siblings, is unhappy with some part of our setup here, or what.

It's also possible she noticed Food Lady is gone (shopping) and thinks it was time to go out on a fact-finding expedition. That feels like a very Peebles thing to do.

@Sig That is very reassuring! And CJ is a bit of a poodge so he at least has some body fat to keep him warm plus a pretty decent coat... and Mysterious Cat Knowledge that probably includes a map of hidden local warm spots we can't even dream of.

By the grace of my employers, who come to resemble The Germans from "Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk" more and more each day, I have Preznits Day as a paid holiday.

Therefore, I get paid to spend today getting stoned, minding five semi-rambunctious cats (who keep INEXPLICABLY mewling to be let out into this frozen shit), and trying to figure out which of the Mane 6 each of them would be.

Well...

Shadow: Applejack (calm and pragmatic)
Sugarfoot: Rarity (beautiful fusspot)
Peebles: Fluttershy (sweetheart)
Artemus: Pinkie Pie (most likely by far to have dracoequus blood)
Shemp: Rainbow Dash (goofy jock)
Ceejay: Twilight (the mysterious one we all worry about constantly)

@hummingrain FWIW, the Raid small/large roach baits with the extra little egg-killing flats has been pretty effective for us. Buy twice as many as they tell you to and replace scrupulously. It seemed to be just as effective in stopping our 2nd round of infestation as a $150 spraying was against the 1st. (i.e., enough that we saw not a single roach for 4-5 months, longer than we should have waited to replace the traps anyhow)

@hummingrain I live in New Orleans and am pretty fastidious about food hygiene so... you can pretty much imagine why my sympthy level here is high. *hug* Yuck.

Well, Kitty Gras has begun. We got five of six indoors as predicted. Shemp inexplicably keeps showing interest in leaving and I already had to retrieve him once -- I'm AMAZED he didn't take one look outside at the hail and wind and go "no, fuck this."

Ceejay is still MIA. :( We are not surprised by this, but I was hoping to at least find him either in the admittedly kinda half-assed shelter we constructed or in the fleece blanket we shoved through the hole that leads into the abandoned basement where all six of them tend to roost.

We left out some food and a prayer to Bast for his safety. I really really hope he's absent because he's a wily little urban shaman and already has much better digs than ours figured out.

I suppose just one night of FREEZE isn't likely to be instantly lethal to a cat with a full winter coat, anyhow, and we'll just check him for frostbite and whatnot when it warms up tomorrow, in the very much desired event that he shows up. But I'm still gonna worry.

Meanwhile, the other five have been... calm-ish? We're not exactly looking forwards to 24 hours of five cats, but so far they've at least been ~75% cooperative and 100% cute.

@JulieSqveakaroo @Phorm @Soreth That's so cute, thank you!

@001zlnv That does sound like a laugh, got a source?

@001zlnv This one? :O https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104683/

@hystericempress (Oops, sorry, you addressed that already! I was indeed in the back, timeline-wise. :D )

@hystericempress I confess I still recoil from most products that are full of MSG, but mostly due to "YIKES, that's a lot of sodium." It's also an irrational revulsion that's kept me from eating a lot of crappy processed food over the years... But yeah, the research is damn solid-looking and the racist component of CRS is especially infuriating.

All right, people, demipeople, and miscellaneous thoughtforms.

You have one week to entertain me...

...or I'm gonna start running improv games lifted from Comedy Bang!Bang! here.

I swear I'll fuckin' do it. I've memorized the rules to Would You Rather. (There are TWO.) I have honed my Fortunately Unfortunately skills to a razor's edge.

Y'all, I'm so bored. Save me from these freakin' cats and this weird moonstruck swamp dragon. :D <3

@Soreth "Rose is a rose is a rose." That's the original.

*confident nod*

Well, there's no further resolution coming in the Saving Cats From Winter Storm plotline until tomorrow, it's just warm enough that nobody needs saving *right now*, and our dealer's not due until 5.

Time for a timeskip. Cut to commercial. *naps* In the meantime maybe you can pretend it's Wandavision and come up with fan theories for how every single fucking object in my bedroom is clearly an Infinity Stone. :D

@Soreth "Good."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cb9jQN5hdLY