Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@hystericempress Also a related search just now brought up this, which I just find so quaint and charming. Calvin was SO EXCITED over a Hayes modem.

@hystericempress I am not ashamed to say I spent at least 30 minutes yesterday plugging "buffet" into Google Maps and pouring over the results with the intensity of Rommel moving plastic figurines across a map of Angola.

@001zlnv good

if you're queer and don't still see yourself at least partially as an outlaw you are of no value to the movement whatsoever

@hystericempress oh wow you ARE strong :D <3

ill K @ may 88888 👬​

if anybody invents some fake hidden meaning for this totally innocent random string of characters i will be outraged because you clearly just don't understand the context

@hystericempress Dose 1 or 2?

I think "I bear you no ill will but I can no longer guarantee your safe passage through my lands" is the best kissoff I will ever deliver to a former friend. One that dates all the way back to the last time I was interested in socializing with "reasonable" Republicans.

old teletext is basically the closest i get to woo

if there were a formal body of magickal practice associated with it i'd probably become some kind of ceefax witch

three of my personal hauntological classics:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF8vLUEp29E

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NF6Qa84mno

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nxuOvjNERE

@Phorm *does a little jig!*

@001zlnv i thought a major goal of small insects was to stay OUT of aardvarks

can't trust what you see in the papers i guess

I've always wanted to write 1408 fanfic in which someone comes in with some nice fresh wallpaper, a little fruity incense, some pillow mints. You know. Things hotel rooms like. Just to show it they want to be friends.

"Five. This is five. Please. Stay a little longer. Please."

@Phorm I feel like I of all people *should* not have totally forgotten who specifically that is, and I definitely know I should be delighted that I have.

three fucking termites have flown up my innocent tiger snoot today alone

i hate it here *pout*

and nobody will bring me fried shrimp without asking for earth money first :(

@Soreth *bows grandly* 🐯​❤️​

Whatever tragic or joyful fates ever befall us, I want you all to know something very important.

Peggy is the best comedic partner I have ever had in my life and the best comedic partner I could have ever asked for.

There is no greater love than going in on your partner's terrible stale improv bit[1] just to see the smile on their face.

[1] Repeating "Flounder?" over and over again, after a painfully long list of hypothetical fish-scented incense varieties, until I finally got an "I hardly even know her!"

I did have to do some coaching, and she does step on my silent beats now and then. But isn't there's a little of that in every relationship?

it's late, i'm tired, i'm undercaffeinated, and my insults are getting kinda baroque as the evening wears on

still we must press forward

rafael cruz? rafael edward cruz? you're a jerk. a complete kneebiter.

(i'd offer apologies to hp lovecraft for cribbing his quote but the original is racist as shit and fuck that guy)

@Phorm Bingo, that's the one! I always thought that was a nice little touch, one of the many things that made me wish the comics were full accepted canon. And that all of EQ were injected with the Tommy Westphall Virus and left to drown in a snowglobe. >_<

@monsterblue Oh and because of your kind supportive comment, you get let in on a little secret: the first section, the pseudonyms? Excellent guide to spotting my sockpuppets on various social media.