Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@PennyPennyPenny Four weeks. Twenty papers. That's two dollars plus tip. The enbies owe me two dollars. I want my two dollars.

@Phorm Congratulations, Agent 00🍾​. Return to base. If you are intercepted, the harem will disavow all knowledge of your brassiere size.

it tells you everything you need to know about me and my damage that, on a day where i have a full to-do list, i spent 15 minutes painstakingly ensuring i had four suitably random emoji after the champagne bottle

it also tells you something that i spent another three minutes rewriting this post because i'd originally said "the four most random possible emoji" but realized that was probably not accurate. something deep inside me didn't want to mislead you into thinking i thought i'd objectively determined this.

@Austin_Dern They do have one called "Silver Fox" but I don't trust it.

@Austin_Dern And yeah, @anthracite has had to remind me a million times that they won't put human blood on a sno-ball, not even in New Orleans. Apparently it's considered rude? And yet every single stand serves "Tiger Blood." It just strikes me as hypocritical. 🐯​

@Austin_Dern

@Phorm From the writing staff that brought you Get Me Hennemore and the costume designer who brought you... um... Cats!

@Leucrotta Basically, we need to figure out a way to make critical semiotics and formal logic really popular as mainstream American hobbies, and we need to do it fast. This might be a bit of a challenge in the most intellectually averse nation on Earth. :O

@Leucrotta I feel like I can't even, say, point people towards the Discordians or the Subgenii anymore-- for entirely valid reasons like "Kerry Thornley died an anti-Semitic human septic tank and broke my heart." ;___;

@Leucrotta I feel like we're about one or two levels down the tech tree from Memetic Chemo. We need a couple of bodies of knowledge to leak into each other a little better. We're right at that point where a society NEEDS to become motivated to cure a disease, so I think we'll have real efforts into solving this problem within a decade or so.

And no, a decade isn't nearly enough time. This is "Dammit, Scotty, we don't have five minutes" kind of stuff.

I did my best but it turned out I was as stuck in the webbing as everybody else. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@chimerror Have you ever seen the arguable source of that particular Nile, Tim Hunkin's Secret Life of Machines? Aired on Channel 4 in the 80s/90.

I highly recommend it, especially because the host loves cats, it was largely filmed on his own property, and he insisted they just keep filming if one wandered across the set. IIRC there's at least one occasion where he just keeps narrating straight to the camera while he delivers scritch. <3 <3 <3

@anthracite Exactly. He probably doesn't even have any cats living with him at home-- just 4d6 You Don't Live Heres at any given time. He doesn't mind. He's a star attorney. He has a full-time live-in vet staff. I mean, you don't want to LOSE Bast's hereditary favor.

we're dropping parallax completely to work on our NEW killer pitch:

"Tony Catblest, Attorney At Law."

He's a perfectly normal, serious professional in a perfectly normal, serious legal drama.

Except an ancient family "blessing" means that he is followed by 2d6 cats at all times.

This turns out to be completely covered and protected under the ADA. So he and his coworkers have pretty much gotten used to, say, having to slide important documents out from under snoozy floofers, and the judges all have special padded gavels so they don't wake anybody up.

Attorney Catblest wins 99% of jury trials. For some mysterious reason.

@Leucrotta that's probably the right answer :D

@Leucrotta now draw a portrait of mao, tape them to the dirty bastard's eyes, and mail it to the nearest PRC consulate >__<

i am proud of this and i mean every word >_____<

this will suffice until we have bullets and a clear aim

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raccoon feels