Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

@Phorm Hey, little dude! <3 <3 <3 Thank you, fox. That's perfect.

@monsterblue That's a good scalekitty right there. <3

Despite a lovely lunch at Parkway Bakery with Peg, I''m just really full of anger and frustration today and I'd like an excuse to be less so.

Can any of you send me anything to feel good about? Cute animal pics preferred, cats of any size* are ideal. <3

*and taxonomic family, I don't discriminate! snails and dogs and ferrets can be cats if they work hard at it!

This comeback makes me smile like a Cheshire Cat every time I drop it on a transphobe.

Got hit with a $550 state tax bill I'd expected to be around $50, the same day I found out my ENT appointments are gonna be $300 each.

Meanwhile the Demon Ear seems to be improving, but it's still just itchy and throbby enough to leave me worried it's gonna come back for Round Five or more. I am so tired of this.

On top of that, our dealer is out of town with no information about when he'll be back. (Probably not gone-gone, he's an avid camper.)

And it's my 46th birthday in four days. (I don't care, honestly. Please don't make anything of it. Unless you're gonna buy me fish or something. 😺​)

I'm taking the money stuff rather well. I had been saving frantically for the Next Crisis; I was just hoping to get to buy at least SOMETHING nice before it happened.

Still, I am in good with my boss and my job seems to be stable so I think it'll be fine.

I'm just really getting tired of treading water and feeling completely and utterly mundane and earthbound. It's not _everything_ I'd feared getting old would entail, but it's getting close enough to worry me.

Assuming our Guy hasn't disappeared to Belize or something, when he does finally show up, I am going to get SO COMPLETELY ASKEW FROM REALITY for a couple days. I am looking forward to it so much.

@Oneironott I insist on parsing that as a summary of two lines of your character build. Nuzzle actions are free and stack four consecutive packets of critical nuzzle "damage."

@Soreth @xinjinmeng o/` Look for the feline label... o/`

@Soreth @xinjinmeng I mean, at least you're REAL LIZARDS. After close scrunity, I'm about 80% sure those "leopard women" are just primates in suits! (We're still waiting for the photoanalysis to come back from Central Martian Intelligence**.)

**also just Artie

I really need a mood-booster, but you know what? Mysteriously there don't seem to be ANY pulse-pounding rock anthems about getting over an ear infection.

@xinjinmeng Still. Those are pretty nice head guns. I should talk to R&D*.

*Artie

@xinjinmeng Tawdry feline wannabes.😾​

I am formally obliged by outstanding diplomatic arrangements with Terran governments to issue the following warning:

I have reached the point where more than 50% of my personal and sociopolitical problems are solvable with fire.

I do not currently have means to produce fire in sufficient amounts to solve any of these problems except for "I have a raw fish and I want a cooked fish."

When I do acquire such means, there will be an appropriate follow-up announcement, as per the Treaty of Ow Ow Ow My That's My Shoulder You Stupid Fucking Space Cat You Said We Were At Peace (AD 3004).

(This announcement will include the customary ceremonial immolation of a few Terran captives. We've got some lovely ones singled out for abduction.)

Oh, right:

*disputed

Damn these legal technicalities. I should really just figure out who's still disputing this and have them eaten by space panthers.

So the Kiwi Farms trolls have driven yet another person to suicide. I didn't know the victim, but I know this isn't the first.

And I don't dare say it openly on Twitter, but I am about ready for some serious dirty tricks to happen against these people. I would donate.

Lives need to be ruined for this, publicly and permanently and unrepentantly. I want oceans of troll tears.

Today I learned the Brazilians will put beef stroganoff on a pizza.

I redid the math three times and damned if I can prove them wrong. 🤷​

FUN FACT: Gender is a fully objective description of genitals and X/Y genetics, totally irrespective of cultural norms. This is why every bottle of Old Spice has a tiny penis and testicles hidden in the bottom of the container and every daiquiri must contain >2.5% ova by volume.

That moment when you're a month and a half into a case of chronic swimmer's ear (even though you don't swim) and you look at that bottle of toilet bowl cleanser and think, "Hmm, it's got peroxide AND bleach AND that comfy looking little nozzle..."

I'm so fucking tired of this.

@Leucrotta I feel like this should be the least kosher food by definition somehow...? :D Have a nice democratic dulce de membrillo or goiabada instead. :>

@Leucrotta *hugs you and smiles placidly* Sweetie? I'm engaged to PEGGY. You can still enumerate the tits on your own, with the naked eye, and without advanced mathematical notation. Consider yourself lucky.

@anthracite

oh look i have a new nickname for the proud boys