Empress of Mars: Undisputed @zebratron2084@awoo.space

(Cynical thought: I need to figure out a way to stick these emotions in a bottle and uncork them when it's time to write Chapter Two of Parallax. I already had a hoofer who needed some top-flight traumatizing for plot reasons. :| And Kirt and Noa's story is gonna come distressingly close to the same themes as Noelle@Deltarune's as they get drawn into Mixolyne psi politics...)

Current mood: haunted by Noelle Holiday's plot line in Deltarune: Chapter 2.

I'm not even an Undertale fan, but the just-revealed "Snowgrave" genocide route hits home pretty hard.

Spoilers: basically the painfully kind and meek reindeer character is manipulated into becoming a murderous, psychologically abused, tranced-out ice mage by your PC and a series of cursed rings.

It's so closely kink-adjacent for me. The idea of a hypnotized, empowered minion as a conduit for someone's will is HOT. But god, not in that form and not poor Noelle.

So much of my hypnosis/mind control kink comes from a deep, deep separation anxiety I had when I was a preteen. I'd have nightmare after nightmare about various Forces possessing my friends and family and making them emotionally unavailable.

But honestly? Like so many of my nightmares, they were kinda fun-scary. And like with so many scary ideas, they got transmuted into kink. And there's still that edge of horror to them.

And seeing Noelle suffer-- especially 'cause my oldest and dearest headfriend is ALSO a Neutral Good pokey hoofer named Noelle-- is gumming up my emotional works today in a fascinatingly complicated way. I can't look away from it.

@aearo @anthracite Yeah, but she had the two *clever* ones in sight, that's the important thing!

Of the remaining four, Shemp is very low mana for a cat, Ceejay refuses to set foot in the house by any means astral or otherwise, Peebles is a tortie and thus NOT a subtle girl*,**, and Sugarfoot is... um...

OK, three cats MAXIMUM.

#F117StealthKitty

* MRAP.
** MRAP!

@Austin_Dern Mine just reads "Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat." Inherited it from my grandfather. Wanna see? =^____^=

#TheTagIsATrap
#KindOfStupidThatWay

@Austin_Dern @001zlnv Wawas will be the next-to-last bastion of civilization to fall. And when Waffle House goes, all is lost.

@Leucrotta "Hey, Sam'u'll'o'th'ogh."

"Oh. Hey, Ralph."

"How's the Elder game?"

"Same old. How's the PI scene?"

"Meh. Took out one of your minions yesterday, sorry about that."

"It's OK, Ralph."

"Thanks, Sam, you're a peach."

"OK. Have a good one. Watch your corners on the way out. *dodecatuple guns gesture* MY HOUNDS GONNA GETCHA!"

"Haha, I'll be sure and get my wards up, Sam." "Huh. What a decent Ur-guy."

@PennyPennyPenny I mean, nobody has yet been able make a compelling case to me that they're not just two different manifestations of the same cosmic energy to start with

of COURSE lazy and perfect is attracted to lazy and perfect, look at my wife and me-- i haven't been ignited in years

@001zlnv @anthracite Dammit, kobold, you reminded me there is cake. I don't have any cake. Maybe I can get @anthracite to bring me some cake.

@001zlnv @anthracite @tiden@blimps.xyz Nutria.🐯​

i adore my mother but man this is just peak boomer :)

Currently what is keeping my sanity afloat is the discovery that there are collections of MST3K on Youtube that are just all the host segments by season. ::>

e.g.: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlrPtf05gP0

+ Crazy Cat Lady: Unknown, presume resolved. Haven't heard a thing.

+ Foot Injury: Looks like it's almost healed!

+ Cable: Back on.

+ Ears: No ache, no itch. Got an ENT follow-up coming.

+ Cats: Seem OK. Haven't seen Shemp or Sugarfoot in a day or so, but it's been rainy. Peebles is very very very definitely here. *loving sigh*

- Wiring issue: some kind of AC backfeed on our cable line, possibly a fire hazard? Have talked to multiple people including a friend with electrician experience and am reassured house isn't going to randomly incinerate or anything.

- Peggy's License: Denied an "F" at Louisana DMV, am kinda furious over it. Sounds like there is a good hope she can qualify for a doctor's note but the information online is really ambiguous.

- Laptop: definitely starting to have issues with the case, no new cracks, case is now loose enough that the trackpad buttons can be triggered by accident *sigh*

Doing rather better today.

Ear is barely acting up today and I have an ENT appointment which should be cheap and low-stress.

No word from Crazy Cat Lady at all so far. Still a tad twitchy there but not like yesterday.

Actually got some work done. And got a full week of vacation for Ida thanks to my angel boss. He even rushed it as an emergency payroll.

Internet still out. Appointment is tomorrow afternoon. Thoughts and prayers. *smirk*

Still got a big ding out of one of my toes. Basically the first layer of skin rubbed off-- probably because of a bandage I'd put on to protect a blister on ANOTHER toe. *sigh*

It looks about the same as yesterday and I probably won't be able to walk much until I see it start healing. Oh, well. Could have been worse, no blood-- just an unnervingly neat disc cut out of the first layer of skin.

Also, I think this whole stupid adventure has instilled me with just enough pettiness that I'm gonna leave myself a reminder for six months from now:

"Subscribe Crazy Cat Lady and Angry Anti-Cat Neighbor's postal addresses to as much gay porn, aluminum siding marketing, and Scientology propaganda as humanly possible."

Nothin'. Not even a text to arrange to pick up her cat food, which kinda surprises me.

I'm really hoping this is the last we hear of her. My last text to her was a Hail Mary attempt to explain to her that looking her address up on a public directory during a crisis SHE involved us in is NOT an "invasion of privacy."

Maybe she did actually realize she'd fucked up and burnt her last bridge. I'm not hopeful, because there are still so many red flags over her and she sure wasn't listening to me at all Monday night.

Still. I went back through our last exchange and she didn't really make any threats or anything, just... berated me for helping her in the wrong way.

Honestly? Given what I did learn about her background-- quite unwillingly, I assure you, over the course of 4-5 rambling 30-minute phone calls-- I kinda wonder if she doesn't have an immigration issue she's afraid of getting exposed.

Dammit, I gotta stop sympathizing with this woman. It's OVER unless she makes it not over. I just hope she's recuperated enough to be able to feed those poor cats, because they're the ones who are most likely to suffer because of this. :(

Artie is a very very long cat. I apologize for not having pictures, but there was just a whole lot of her to pet and I had to use both hands. She would accept nothing less.

God, after all the shit I've taken in the last few weeks, it's good to have a feisty selfish little cat come up and want NOTHING more than my attention. <3 <3 <3

@Aradia God I miss shopping malls being worth a damn. I should share the INCREDIBLY DEPRESSING AND SURREAL pics Peg and I took of my poor hometown mall's fundie-church-and-vape-store infested carcass.

@Leucrotta I guess if I were to play devil's advocate for it one last time... I think the main feeling these posts feed off of is VINDICATION.

I think it's reasonable right now for leftists to crave stories that
prove, after years of shameless gaslighting, that reality is catching up with the Trumpies. And if the story involves our abusers and their enablers suffering from that proof, it's going to REALLY fill that need.

And it's hard to blame them for it, because it's been traumatic as fuck watching these people run roughshod over us and bullshit us straight to our faces.

You've still got me wondering all over again if it's something we can trust. I'm still going to try to quash the habit of joining in, because you're still damn right that this could turn into something VERY ugly. And that something feels fakey and too-easy about how social media is encouraging it.

I just feel like there's more than mere smugness at work here. It's not just "we were better and smarter than you," it's "the things we were pretty sure were lies, and you got mad at us for questioning, turned out to be true and maybe we also won't have to put up with as much of your shit now."

I think I can at least see why these feel like a punch-up instead of a punch-down to a lot of leftists right now. And the further down they punch, yeah, the less sympathy I have.

My stepsister, for example, is a dipshit but she's not a Redcap-- she just read some Facebook posts and is also quite dim. *sigh* But she doesn't deserve to die for that, and I'd be mad if someone slid into her memorials to make fun of her.

She walked into this of her own free will, but she hasn't forced it on anyone, she hasn't preached it at anyone, and she hasn't made any money off of it. Her sin is no greater than, say, believing newspaper astrology is objectively real, or believing in the Loch Ness Monster.

But when it happens to be the same sort of person who's been gaslighting us about everything ELSE for the last 6+ years, whether as a politician or a voter... and it turns out their latest line of cargo cult bullshit, that they ridiculed us for disbelieving, KILLED them?

It's gonna be really hard not to smile. And I am probably gonna still do it on the inside. :>

@Leucrotta Oof, yeah, OK, I have NO TROUBLE AT ALL agreeing with you that it can feel very bandwagony and "Two-Minutes-Hate"-y. It does have the potential to spawn into something far, far worse if we let it become a habit.

I think you've convinced me to at least *try* not to feed those kinds of posts. No guarantees-- I'm not sure I'm even gonna have basic emotional reins again for the rest of 2021 at this rate. But you have a REALLY good point and thank you for hammering it home for me.